Entertainment
created by and for the no-budget filmmaking
community. We all work our asses off making movies not enough people watch.
FASTFORWARD is a chance for us to talk to other people just as messed-up as we are, relax and laugh about it. Send
submissions/comments/complaints to
Probably the longest-running prank character at the old forum was Sergio, an immigrant filmmaker. The character was controversial among those at the boards who disliked anything funny, as usual, but grew to be a part of the family. Sergio was actually Mike Stoklasa, who later wrote a (quite good) screenplay starring the character and started to produce it as an animated film.The project was too ambitious, and Mike was unable to complete it.
But behold, the original posts ... the magic of Sergio.
Sergio [guest] from REwind Online
Sergio Love American Woman Posted 10-9-2000 05:01
Sometimes Sergio think: Why I make movies? Is it because I like to tell
story? Is it because I want to make money? Because I get feeling of
accomplishment? no no, It is because Sergio want to sleep with sleazy
actresses.
Father tell me, "Sergio, women will never love you for who you are, this
is why you need to become great American director. Then babes like Alyissa
Malano and Sally Field will want to sleep with you for good part in
movie" I tell my father I want to meet nice girl and have her love
Sergio for Sergio, But my father hit me and tell me to make him chicken pot
pie. He call me dumb ass.
Sergio always want to make father proud, so current movie is called
"American Bikini Bimbo Bash" Location will be on beach in sunny
California and woman will be required to sleep with Sergio for part, even
secretary part with one line. I have casting session and no one show up!
Sergio put out flyers at local supermarket and church. But Sergio determined.
I go to beach and film women anyway I point camera at them and say "I
make movie, you want to be in it?" some woman laugh and say yes. They embaressed,
but can not resist Sergios charm. I tell them they need to come to Sergio's
house tonight and "get the busy on" in order to be in film. They
yell at me and life guard hit me with boogie board. After father bail Sergio
out, he beat me till my skin fell off. Why Sergio have problems with American
culture? Sergio miss old country.
-Sergio.
J.Brugmann [guest] from REwind Online
Awww, crap. Posted 10-9-2000 23:20
This "guy" was poking around the AMDB message board.
And now he's here! I'd say 1/4 posts are actually funny, but it's mostly bad
sex jokes.
===
JoHn
Sergio [guest] from REwind Online
Sergio Film Festival! Come join! Posted 10-16-2000 00:28
Hallo friends it's Sergio! Just wanted to post to internet friends that
Sergio is starting own film festival called "Sergio Slam 2000" It
will be held in my house. My father watch your film and be judge. If he don't
like he say "get out!" if he like, well then he say "eh that
was okay, Sergio your friend okay in my book...he can stay" Mother make mozzaballs
and garlic bread while we watch films on couch. If Uncle Vincenzo show up
drunk just ignore him, he likes to talk bad about black people at job, please
don't pay any attention, Sergio turn up volume on TV when he show up. Prizes
for film slam will be sergio's old dresser and possibly a gift certificate
for Shakey's, this is all Sergio have, but Film festival is what Sergio love!
Sergio love film and want others to share in this joy! Unless film features
nudity, vulgar language, violence, any sexual references. My mother have
pacemaker and is very religious. If film makes father mad he may hit you. But
still join up for film festival. Mother bought 25 pounds of meat for occasion
and father will beat me if it goes to waste. Details about film fest are on
my webstage: www.Sergioslam200.com
-Sergio
Apocalypse2001 from REwind Online
meat huh? Posted 10-16-2000 05:23
Do you know what kind of meat your mother bought? I think I would be rather
interested in the consumption of dead animals and such. The movies that we
make might get a little vulgar, but if your father tries anything I'll have
his legs broken and his tongue removed. Hope to see you and all these other
amateur film junkies there!
Jesse Sorgatz
Blanc Screen Cinema
P.S. Also, would your parents be adverse to me bringing some Venezuelan
beaver Cheese?
tygerbug [guest] from REwind Online
that cat's eaten it. Posted 10-16-2000 06:00
I bet Sergio likes Venezualan beaver.
Although in some posts Sergio seems a little gay or bisexual ...
GMP Mike [guest] from REwind Online
Interested Posted 10-16-2000 15:09
Give us an address to send tapes to, along with a phone number. You can send
it to me via e-mail. Then I can check to see if the address is legit and call
you for more information about your film festival. We at GMP would love to
have our films in your festival. I think your father would like our films.
-Mike
tygerbug [guest] from REwind Online
um Posted 10-17-2000 03:18
Sorry to break this to ya, GMP Mike, but Sergio isn't, um ... how do I put
this? Let's just say the link at the end of the post doesn't work and leave
it at that. Any more discussion of this would spoil something that wasn't all
that interesting to begin with.
gmp mike [guest] from REwind Online
CRAP! Posted 10-17-2000 06:26
Are you saying Sergio isn't a real person??!?!! That it's some jag off who
thinks he's funny? Awww I was really interested in joining his film festival
:( oh well there's always Cannes, but it's not quite Sergiofest2000
tygerbug [guest] from REwind Online
lalala Posted 10-17-2000 08:35
I wasn't trying to "reveal" that Sergio isn't a real person ...
just that he doesn't usually reply to our discussions of this posts, so it's
not really worth even trying to say, well, use my movie at your
"fest" because in the past he's never listened to that sort of
thing ... A Sergio commentary on oranges: the movie, with its undercurrent of
adult love, would be bueno, but ... so basically I'm just saying that if
"Sergio" had balls he would post a real website address for a
Sergio slam ... that would be amusing. He wouldn't even have to put up an
email address. I for one would like to hear more of his adult love
"porno" films where man wear wig. But he no go into that sort of
detail. Apparently years of his father hit him have left Sergio unable to
carry on a conversation.
So let's just say the web address doesn't work and leave it at that ...
unless Sergio have other idea.
Hallo all this is Sergio. I want to tell all that I finish movie for
Halloween called "Look out! GHOST!" it's about haunted mansion and
girl who gets lost in it with boyfriend. Boyfriend take girl into room and
say "come on baby, give me that hot stuff" girl say NO! boyfriend
grab her and say "listen here, give me the hot good stuff" then
girl see ghost coming from behind and say "Look out ghost!" boy too
excited to care (thinking about adult love) and he get head cut off by demon
spirit. Sergio show film to father and father love it! He pat Sergio on back
when boy get killed and say "Wow Sergio! you are no longer embarressment
to family! I no longer wish you were never born!" Mother made mozzaballs
and father love them too, he say "It is a rare night! I have no reason
to beat either of you!" later mother and me thank jesus for protecting
us on this halloween eve. Same night Hans and Peter show up, father answer
door. Hans and peter say they want to see film they were in. Father say
"Halloween film?" they say yes. Then Father say, "No, you make
mistake only girl and guy in film" Hans say, No I was girl with wig on,
girl not show up" Father break Sergio's door down with sledge hammer and
tell me Halloween will be very scary this year for Sergio. Mother pray rosary
for Sergio, but it not help. Father shove plastic pumpkin down Sergio's
throat till face turn blue, then he whip me with belt. Father have bad
drinking problem, please help.
-Sergio
Tews from REwind Online
Three cheers for Sergio's dad Posted 10-31-2000 15:14
Oh, let's thank Sergio's dad for doing what we've all wanted to do since he
arrived on this and the AMDB's message board... and that is give him a real
good shit kickin'. Sergio's father is now my true "real life" hero.
Way to go dad!!!
Erik
gmpmike [guest] from REwind Online
I agree Posted 10-31-2000 15:51
I agree, sergios dad kicks ass....literally!
Sergio [guest] from REwind Online
How Sergio Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Rock Posted 11-3-2000 08:49
Hallo Friends it's Sergio! I just wanted to say I love the american rock! I
went to show tonight called Limp Bisquick and I must say It entertained me.
Man at gate took video camera I brought and smashed it, but that's okay it
was falling apart. I see band and they loud and yelling. I also see opening
act called Screamhead, they suck, people push me around and hit me! I say
CALL POLICE!!, but hans tell me it's called american moshing, I say it crazy!
When I get home I tell my father about rocking concert and most importantly
about the moshing pit. I say father, Americans have pastime where you go to
concert to hear music and hit people at the same time. I tell him that he
should go see concert so that he would no longer have to hit mother and me.
Father laugh, he think funny. Later on Sergio keep door open knowing well
that father would kick it in and beat me for my earlier comments, but he did
not. Father asleep in bed with mother. Sergio say to himself, father not beat
me? This is strange I thank Limp Bisquick for their music it has brought me
peace in my home. Someday I make movie about my experience called Sergio Love
America! Land of Opportunity.....and Rock!
tygerbug [guest] from REwind Online
... Posted 11-3-2000 11:31
Sergio seems to make a quite casual Kubrick reference for someone of Sergio's
Sergio status, don't you think?
Never mind, I like this side of Sergio. I almost wish I could walk right up
to him and hit him myself.
Sergio [guest] from REwind Online
Whya you nota like the Sergio? Posted 11-29-2000 05:31
Sergio not like amature movies no more! Sergio ask for help and you shun!
Sergio come to America after seeing great film makers like Steven Spielberg
and Dennis the Mennis want to make film! Sergio's dream has been to make
great american film like Citizen Kane or Showgirls and what happen? Sergio
get laughed at! Sergio get beat up by black guy in subway, Sergio get bottle
shoved in asshole at rave! Why this happen to Sergio! Now Sergio ask for help
after eating bad eggs and Sergio no see post! Where did post go? When Sergio
was 12 father give him advise he said, "Sergio my son, the world is what
you make it.....now make me a chicken pot pie or I'll beat the living hell
out of you" I have always interprited the wise words of my father to
mean that the world is a cruel and competitve place and unless you go out and
make a chicken pot pie it will beat you. Since then Sergio have always
strided to become what was destined to be - a film maker, even though road
may be a tough one. But Film maker need help! and no one help Sergio! Sergio
have no training, no actors, but do have big video camera from 1980 and a
blank tape of dreams. Sergio will show you all! Sergio will make the next
Barenaked Witch Project and show you all who the best film maker is! Father
will be proud of Sergio!
P.S. Sergio new film "Look out Ghost!" for sale at my webcam at
www:Sergiofilms:COM
tygerbug [guest] from REwind Online
.. Posted 11-29-2000 06:16
I'm still sad that Sergio's website doesn't actually work. Call me a fan.
Jay BlancScreen [guest] from REwind Online
censorship issues Posted 11-29-2000 13:26
Yeah, what's with deleting a Sergio post from here? Is Sergio telling the
truth? Did his last post get deleted from the board? Since when does REwind
endorse censorship? Sergio is a symol of free speech and should not be
silenced!
Jay
Tews from REwind Online
Get rid of him! Posted 11-29-2000 19:54
Sergio is a fucking douche-bag who SHOULD be banned from this message board.
I don't know who is behind this Sergio character but there is nothing funny
about him. His jokes are immature, childish and uncalled for. This all
started at the AMDB and it should be stopped right here, right now. Plus, he
is making a mockery of the amateur film world and honestly I don't appreciate
it. And really, there is nothing funny about child abuse.... but in this case
I hope this Sergio character gets the fucking hell beaten out of him by more
then just his father. Actually, I think my next film will be "THE SEVERE
BEATING OF SERGIO!" I'm sure it will be a big hit!
Peace love and happiness and death to Sergio... Jon get rid of him!
Erik Woods
TEWS Entertainment
[ This message was edited by: Tews on: 11-29-2000 13:44 ]
[ This message was edited by: Tews on: 11-29-2000 13:44 ]
[ This message was edited by: Tews on: 11-29-2000 13:46 ]
Jon from REwind Online
Sergio Make Bad Post Posted 11-29-2000 14:13
I've had mixed feelings on this Sergio character. While I don't find his
'comedy' amusing at all, I don't really care enough to censor the guy. I
figure if you don't like Sergio, don't read the post. But a day or so ago he
stepped over the line with his 'egg' story into very poor taste without
reason. It's a free world and a free board, but I'm still it's moderator. I
have no problems with most of Sergio's stupid stories, but please keep in
mind that a wide age range frequent this board even if they don't post. This
board was created for a reason, and that's to supplement REwind and draw
regular traffic - if Sergio's posts negatively affect either of those, then
I'll deal with it.
Generally, if you find Sergio's posts offensive, just skip them. A lack of
response tends to eliminate issues like that quickly.
Jon
PS - This was the first post I've ever deleted from this board. I hope it
will be the last Sergio.
Jay BlancScreen [guest] from REwind Online
Sergio bad, REwind good Posted 11-29-2000 15:51
"A mockery of the amateur film world"? I think someone's taking
this a tad too seriously. Don't get me wrong, I love amateur movies, but is
it really worth getting so upset about something so insignificant?
Jay
Sergio [guest] from REwind Online
No get rid of Sergio! Posted 11-29-2000 16:54
Sergio think child abbuse a serious topic! Sergio ask for help when father
beat me. Do you help no! Should Sergio be "band" no! Sergio should
not be "banned" Sergio does best to write good english, but not
even make mistake that bad! But Sergio might form band if you have bass
player, my father play drums. Please if no one like Sergio will go away :(
but I just try to make film and people laugh, why they laugh!
CINEMAPEN from REwind Online
AIN'T NOTHIN' WRONG WITH A LITTLE SERGIO... Posted 11-29-2000 18:29
C'mon guys...
It's funny. Whoever's doing it is having a good time, and it's not really
mean-spirited, so why the heck not?
I always end up reading Sergio posts, and Stoklasa has maintained those posts
are one of his biggest reasons for visiting. I say let him have his say.
J.
GMP Mike [guest] from REwind Online
Rock on Jason Posted 11-29-2000 18:51
oooh What's all this Sergio controversy! I love it. I agree Jason. It's all
good to keep in contact with amatuer film information, but every now and then
a little Sergio post makes me laugh. And to Tim Woods of Tews, I doubt the
"credibilty of the amatuer film community" is at stake, come on!
Lighten up. I want to read the one about eggs that apparently crossed the
line! Jon please don't deprive Sergio fans of this work, please at least
email it to us or something. Long live Sergio!
Tews from REwind Online
Do you guys have any pride in what you make? Posted 11-29-2000 19:55
You know... I've noticed a lot of interesting things in the past couple of
months or so and I come to the conclusion that most of you guys don't even
take any pride in what you produce. You know what, it DOES offend me when
someone starts screwing around with our "hobby" because let me tell
you that if this was any other site and some loser like Sergio started
spewing at the mouth with all of his ridiculous and useless posts then he
would have been tossed ages ago. I love what I do and I love making movies. I
just don't understand why some of you don't defend your work and your hobby.
I'm sure if someone started bad mouthing or making fun of lets say your
favorite sports team, and don't get me started on the Leafs, then I'm sure
you would have a different take on the situation. What I'm saying is that
some of you consider what you do to be crap and the worst things anyone has
ever seen. I know it's fun making movies and all but if you don't have pride
in your work then why the hell do you do bother. And why do you get upset
when someone writes a bad review for your "crap" movie when it
really is crap because you said it was.
It's confusing... but hey... if you guys like Sergio and his stupidity so be
it. Enjoy!
Erik Woods
TEWS Entertainment
[ This message was edited by: Tews on: 11-29-2000 19:50 ]
[ This message was edited by: Tews on: 11-29-2000 19:52 ]
Jay BlancScreen [guest] from REwind Online
Long Live Sergio! Posted 11-29-2000 20:50
Having a sense of humor about Sergio and his stupid posts has no relevance
towards how seriously any of us take filmmaking. How exactly does Sergio
taint the image of amateur filmmaking? By not having a sense of humor, does
that mean that someone takes what they do more seriously than those of us
that are able to laugh at Sergio and his wacky antics? I don't think so. I
make stupid comedies, but that doesn't mean I don't take them seriously. I do
what I do because I love it. I also find Sergio funny. God, I'm so juvenile,
aren't I?
Jay
Tews from REwind Online
Insignificant Posted 11-29-2000 22:05
Jay,
You said that I shouldn't get upset over something like Sergio making a
"mockery of the amateur film world because it is insignificant."
Now, I might have misinterpreted what you said and I just want to make sure
I'm clear. Are you saying that amateur film is insignificant or whether
Sergio is insignificant? If it's the latter then I agree. I'm just extremely
passionate about my film work and having moron's like Sergio come around and
talk about something that has nothing to do with REwind, or amateur film, well
that's when I get offended. It's junk mail for all I'm concerned and for some
people junk mail bothers them. Now, I probably was going a little over board
about Sergio making a mockery of the amateur film world when in reality we
should just ignore the bastard and go on with our lives. Now, if you find him
funny I've got nothing against that I just don't think Sergio's posts belong
here at REwind. We've got better things to read and talk about.
As for your work Jay, I wasn't signaling you out personally. It's just an
observation and it boggles the mind that some people consider everything they
do to be crap. Sure, I've made some horrible films but I've taken those films
and used them to improve my work where as some people continue to produce and
proclaim there work to be crap. But, again, why should I care about what
other people are doing. If you like producing crap go right ahead. Enjoy!
And as for immature... hell, I'm immature... I'm as immature as they come but
there is a time and a place for that kind of nonsense... sometimes REwind is
the place... but Sergio is just a waste of time which is what I'm doing by
writing this post. Anyway, that's it from the TEWS factory.
Erik
tygerbug [guest] from REwind Online
... Posted 11-30-2000 03:00
I've also referred to a certain series of mine as "crap" in the
past, but was doing so half in jest -- I, like everyone else on the board,
love everything I've done to death. Sure, when GMP Mike's around I'll see us
do a Monkey Man Gets His joke or two, but I'm sure that Mike loves that one
as much as any of his others ... what can be interpreted as a temporary lack
of pride is just backing away when someone didn't like what we did so as not
to push it on them ... nothing worse than endless praising discussion of a
bad movie. Sergio is a colorful character, and some of us tolerate him, some
even enjoy him, but some here don't like what he did and is doing, and just
want him to back away. I doubt that Sergio's posts are an attack on anyone,
or on amateur films in general. Sergio can make his own decision here, and
those who dislike Sergio will continue to ignore his posts.
But never say there isn't any pride at REwind. Some of us occasionally get so
filled with joy at the whole amateur community that we wind up writing 4-page
posts. Or, um, yeah.
John [guest] from REwind Online
As one of the aforementioned readers Posted 11-30-2000 21:17
First off I have to say that I do not make amateur mvoies, I am not even
really involved in the entire subculture of amatuer filmmakers, but what I do
know is that Sergio generates a lot of heat for someone who "isn't
real" and who is "discrediting" the entire amatuer filming
community. Personally it is my opinion that if you don't like something then
you ignore it, I don't know about other people but I don't believe that there
should be someone out there who is limiting what I do and do not have access
to.
I have to admit I am a sucker for idiot comedy, which is what I would have to
define Sergio's posts as. I would have to deifne them as idiot comedy, and
since Jim Carrey, and Adam Sandler makes millions of dollars ( As well as Tom
Green, and the fellas from Jackass on MTV ) doing the exact same thing,
except on a larger scale, I think that the fella from TEWS (sp?) should
lighten up and keep more of an open mind about the literary material of this
page. It is one thing to be hotly opinionated about something, it is quite
another to try and force those opinons on others, or to heatedly state that
your opinion is right and other peoples are wrong.
Is there honestly anything inherently WRONG with enjoying the simple idiotic
wit of Sergio? I don't think so, and in his own way, I think Sergio would
agree with me.
So I say LET THE BEATINGS CONTINUE!, and I can't wait to order my copy of
"Look Out Ghost!"
John,
A mild mannered, and not heatedly opionated, reader.
tygerbug [guest] from REwind Online
wait a minute .... Posted 12-1-2000 06:23
Who is this "John" guy now?
As if the name wasn't common enough on this forum ...
whoamI??? [guest] from REwind Online
Sergio, Oh Sergio Posted 12-1-2000 06:43
Personally, I am not bothered by Sergio. I think he's kind of funny. But if I
had to guess I'd say he was the alter ego of Jay from BlancScreen. Am I
wrong???
tygerbug [guest] from REwind Online
... Posted 12-1-2000 06:45
No, whoami, actually he's your alter ego.
I dunno. Who cares?
Jay - BlancScreen [guest] from REwind Online
This thread has gone on longer than it should have Posted 12-1-2000 07:25
WhoamI, are you wrong? Yes.
J.Brugmann [guest] from REwind Online
lord almighty Posted 12-1-2000 09:47
Lord almighty, as if this thread wasn't annoying enough (I promised myself I
would not comment. Apathy is the greatest revenge) ANOTHER guy with the name
John pops up. I knew I should have changed my name to Leonard when I had the
change. Dr. Leonard Brugmann, has a nice ring to it, doesn't it?
===
JoHn
superfoo from REwind Online
LOOK OUT GHOST! Posted 12-1-2000 17:26
Guys, just checked out the trailer for Sergio's "Look Out Ghost"
over at www.sergiofilms.com.
GREAT
- That Star Wars reference in Italian
- Nice music by Stewart Copeland
- Good editing
BAD
- It needs subtitles
- Broke the 180 rule a few times
- David Hasselhoff appearance
Enjoy it everyone... it's at www.sergiofilms.com.
I'm lucky my browser got through; I hear the traffic is heavy.
- Dan / Random Foo
Mike Branum [guest] from REwind Online
lord almighty Posted 12-1-2000 21:01
Since there's a new John, and too many Mikes around, I'm changing my name to
"Slappy." No personal reasons, except I get tired of thinking
people are talking about ME when they've got microphone problems. The proper
short-form of microphone is "mic", people, not "mike." So
please note the name change. It's not Mike "Slappy" Branum, but I
will accept "The Artist Currently Known As Slappy". But no calling
me Mike anymore. I mean, the other Mike could call himself "mp3. Mike"
or "Composer Mike", but I do those things, too, dang it!!! So,
under duress, I will change MY name. I know what you're thinking,"Why
not something like HooptyMike?" Because it's too hard to spell!!!! And
in order to keep this post short, let me just say
Sergio [guest] from REwind Online
Sergio vist L.A! Posted 12-1-2000 18:05
Hallo "friends" it's Sergio! I want to say that Sergio write from
L.A., land of movies! Sergio come to California for Gold Rush, but man at
tourist center tell Sergio he is over 100 years too late. I think father play
cruel joke on Sergio! Sergio just bring shovel and no money, so off to magic
Sergio go! Sergio see many sites of Hollywood. Prostitutes, homeless
veterans, sexual miscreants, drug users, and Carrot Top. Sergio see sign.
"Film Festival!" and dream come true! Festival have American
Movies! Free admission! So Sergio go in and get seat. Film that play is
something called "We shall not forget". Sergio ask person sitting
in next seat what film about. They say, "It's about the nazis in world
war two and how they...." Sergio stop him, that's all Sergio need to
hear! If Sergio know anything about Nazis' and American films it's that it
will be all action and adventure! Film start. Sad violin music play during
credits, Sergio bored. Sergio want excitement! Sergio yell," Where is
American Action Star Indiana Jones!" people say "sssh" Sergio
wait and nothing exciting happen. Sergio yell out loud again "Sergio
want to see John Wayne shoot nazi!" people say ssssh even louder. So
Sergio go to lobby where food is at. mmmm Food from Sergio's home country,
Pizza! Sergio take bite, father would love this! Back in film Sergio get seat
in balcony and look around. Below Sergio see something that say
"Holocaust Survivor Section" when Sergio lean over to see better
pizza fall! It land in hair of old lady! People begin to yell and scream and
Sergio run out of theater! What happened, Sergio not understand! America is
land of movies and magic, why this happen to Sergio!
superfoo from REwind Online
as they say in the land of television commercials... Posted 12-1-2000 20:50
"What do you want on your Tombstone?"
Slappy Branum (see?) [guest] from REwind Online
as they say......... Posted 12-1-2000 21:07
Oh shit......that's the best comebacker I've read in awhile. Oh, glad I moved.
Looks like I did it just in time.
Slappy.
He changed his name to Slappy!!!. Still not as cool as Leonard, though.
I really need to get my hands on a Hoopty movie one of this days, if they
contain but 1/10 of the wit...
===
JoHn
Slappy Branum [guest] from REwind Online
We swap for it? Posted 12-1-2000 23:20
Leonard (my second favorite Marx Brother next to Julius),
I'd be more than happy to do a tape swap. I mean, if you really wanna be
Hoopty. And yes, Jay, yours is on my table, as is Jon's, waiting to go. If I
could only get my wife's purse.
-Slappy the purse-snatcher
John [guest] from REwind Online
That name thing Posted 12-4-2000 04:28
Im sorry for causing a name rucus (sp?) I am just using my real name, I
wasn't aware that so many people on here were named John.
Anyways, after reading Sergio's most recent post I have to say I kind of feel
sorry for the guy.....and I know just the thing to cheer him up.
Sergio seems a bit lost and a bit depressed. After all if you were new to
America and your father was an alcoholic and abusive person you would be
lonely too.
What I am suggesting is that someone start a Sergio Fansite!.
Yes folks, just think about it, a site where you could go to talk with the
legendary indy filmmaker Sergio! A place where you could go to discuss his
newest work with him and his fans. Personally I would be a big fan of such an
idea, and would help out anybody with the know how to organize and produce
such an adventure.
What does everyone say?
John
J.Brugmann [guest] from REwind Online
... Posted 12-4-2000 06:54
Please, include your last name or company affiliation when posting. There are
enough freakin' variations on the name "John" around here. I mean,
we made a grown man break down and call himself "Slappy". When will
the madness end?
===
JoHn
Slappy [guest] from REwind Online
Name and Company please....... Posted 12-4-2000 19:59
Slippy, Slappy, Stinky, Snozzle........what's the difference? I, although
suffering from breakdowns on a daily basis, CHOSE that name because I had a
great uncle named Slappy. And, I must admit, I don't know any other Slappys,
but I do know a lot of Johns.
But, with this particular JoHn (what's with the big
"H".........."Hoopty affiliation?"), I can see his point
about including your name and company. Heck, isn't this site all about making
us famous? Like Sergio?
Slappy
Hoopty Studios
The Cheapest Movie Studio On The Planet
http://www.hoopty.cc
tygerbug [guest] from REwind Online
... Posted 12-4-2000 21:55
I'm fairly sure this particular John is affiliated with Sergio films.
John [guest] from REwind Online
No affiliation Posted 12-5-2000 05:18
I am not really affiliated with any company, though I have seen some of GMP
Mike's stuff from a mutual friend. It was also that mutual friend who got me
reading the boards in here.
And NO I do not know Sergio personally ( Though I would not meeting such a
good filmmaker! ) I just have a tender spot for idiot comedy as I called it
earlier, and I have a soft spot for hardluck cases.
Nobody seemed to be too interested in my Fansite idea, eh?
John
Veteran X [guest] from REwind Online
A fansite is not enough... Posted 12-5-2000 15:01
I think a movie should be made to honor the life of Sergio! I'm have some
connections in the FOO/Pangea world and will see if I can pull some strings.
I've already started writing a script...
Sergio [guest] from REwind Online
American Zombie Hot Wax Bikini-Bimbo Car Wash From Hell 2 Posted 12-31-2000
06:13
I right to you from my basement, father has used my bedroom for sex den. He
say "Sergio, you 29 years old now! Time to get out!" My mother pray
he will feel different, but Sergio think not, Sergios last film flopped.
Mother had one credit card and Sergio maxumed it out to buy equipment and
lights and pay stripper to star in film. Film called "Zombie Girl Hot
Wax Car Wash 2: Adventures in Time" it was loosely based sequel to
American Film Beverly Hills Cop starring world war 2 action hero Audie Murphy.
But Sergio still have lots to learn about American Culture. Stripper named
Sindy come to set she say "Where my water!" sergio show her toilet,
"You need use?" she say "My Bottle of Natural Spring water,
like duh, where's craft service?" Sergio not understand " You
service my craft!!! Take clothes off for scene!!" she do. Scene call for
hot vampire stripper putting hot wax on sports car in California sun, but
Sergio just have rusty old Mazda and snow on ground. Sindy tell Sergio to
"get bent" and leave!
Sergio call Hans to Wax car with wig on but Hans say "NO! he go see
paper view wrestling!" what this is Sergio know not. Then father smash
Sergio camera and say "work in fishery or live on streets with american
bums!" All Sergio want to do is make American films much like Das Boot
and Battleship Potempkin! Why world hate Sergio, everyone talk about fancy
computers and DVD? what is this? Sergio know not! HELP!!!!
Wally_Fong from REwind Online
What?!?!?!?!?! Posted 12-31-2000 09:11
As Tom Cruise said in MI:2
"You've got to be kidding me"
I wanna make a movie about Sergio trying to make a movie! What a character.
Sergio [guest] from REwind Online
No Movie! Posted 1-1-2001 22:50
Rusty Hoot Sucky Hoot! Not movie bout Sergio! unless Sergio get lot of adult
love
Jeff [guest] from REwind Online
Pre-Production Art Complete! Posted 1-2-2001 20:09
Sequey Productions is pleased to announce that the pre-production behind the
scenes concept art for our latest film "Terror-Scarer" is being
released on the offical site (www.segueyfilms.com) these stills are
pre-concept art drawings completed by Seguey's own Mark Kilbourne. These
never seen before drawings of the concept art for the mask have been eagerly
awaited by fans. Also soon to be released are never before seen stills of the
script being writen and exclusive behind the scenes only availble on the
internet live web cam of the computer screen that will eventually be used to
edit the film on (once I get the software and we start shooting) The script
is almost done for the movie, but for those who want to keep update with
exclusive never before seen pics of the casting process (me calling people)
stay tuned to our site. Also be sure to note that you can download the
offical teaser trailer at our site, I must again comment that this trailer
has NEVER BEEN SEEN BEFORE and is exclusive to our site only. The trailer is
11 seconds long and will be updated all throughout the production. With
ACTUAL VIDEO IMAGES used in the film. So keep checking out our site for
EXCLUSIVE NEVER BEFORE SEEN EAGERLY ANTICIPATED BEHIND THE SCENES stills of
the paper that will be used when I print the script out. Oh yeah and If we
end up shooting the movie and actually finishing it that will be announced as
well, but be sure to check out the behind the scenes making of
mini-documentary about how the behind the scenes exclusive never before seen
pics of my computer screen that will eventually edit the film and print out
the script were made!
-Jeff
Boonshoo [guest] from REwind Online
Getting some o' that Posted 1-3-2001 07:45
hey Jeff, I tried checking out your sitebut the page wouldn't load. I'm
wondering if you have a Box address that I could mail something to because I
have some great ideas for possible costumes for your movie. Now, mind you
they are just concepts but you can take stills of the concepts on the paper
and post them on your site so that they could be viewed.
of course, you will need to go download a RealViewer to be able to view them
but the trouble should be worth the wonderful art "concepts" that
your fans will be able to view once they've completed the 3.5 hour long
download.
Oh and these concept drawings have NEVER BEEN SEEN BEFORE!!!!!!
Bonshoo
Jeff [guest] from REwind Online
New update! Posted 1-5-2001 19:43
We've just added a section to our website that will allow viewers to create
interactive one of a kind limited edition theatrical release posters for our
unfinished film which will only be four minutes long. Guests to the website
can list lenghty credits of the large cast and crew and fill their own names
in the blanks! Why not! Everyone else does! Also in the HOT NEWS we're begun
script revisions on our 12 second film "The Courage of One" which
will include never before seen cast photo gallery, behind the scenes scirpt
revision sessions and never before seen web exclusive pics of the camera that
will shoot the film. ALso included an interactive section of the website that
will allow visitors to score the music for the 12 second film, also vistors
can see the ACTUAL music sheets composer Rob Bacon used to write down his
ideas for the score on!!! Amazing!!!
The Rat [guest] from REwind Online
whoops Posted 1-6-2001 10:08
Hey Jeff,
Uhh... www.segueyfilms.com or maybe www.sequeyfilms.com sure ain't working
over here on this end.
Maybe you typed something wrong?
Or from the way I smell it, none of this actually exists!!!!!!!!!! But, maybe
that's just me.
tygerbug [guest] from REwind Online
well, duh. Posted 1-9-2001 07:37
This post wasn't very good either kids, but keep trying. Liked it better than
the Sergio of late anyway.
Sergio [guest] from REwind Online
Look Out....LUDWIG!! Posted 3-10-2001 07:21
Hallo Friends It's SERGIO! The other day Hans say "Sergio, we go to
dance club and find flying american women!" Sergio up for hot adult love
whenever possible. Since Sergio last adventure at Rave, Sergio understand
more of American Culture. Snap Caps, Frizzilars, and Swizzle Sticks, are
forms of narcotics. and if someone offers you a stamp it's not for mailing
letter to mom! Sergio put on sunday best and ready to go to rave to meet
future wife, or maybe just settle for what americans call a slut. In car Hans
say we go to Grave, not rave. Sergio think Grave is strange place to meet
girl, but Hans say Grave is place like Rave, but for Goth people. THey play
black metal remixing. Sergio lost at this point, but with sunday best on and
brut cologne what can go wrong!
Club is loud and people give strange looks. People look weird! Like horror
movie! I say - where is Marilyn Monroe! Then Sergio see him. Ludwig! He has
camera and is shooting scene for movie. Ludwig tell actors playing Vampires
"dance, spit blood! Dance!" Scene looks great. Sergio say "I
make movie too! I make film call look out ghost!" Sergio get pushed
down. Ludwig spit and say " I come from Germany to America to make
movie, get lost euro-trash!" Sergio shocked!
Next week at film festival Sergio see Ludwig. Ludwig say "I make movie
called Space Vampire Pirates from the center of the solar system, he say film
star guy who played in TV show Charles in Charge. Sergio not belive the hype,
but it true! Ludwig's film have Charles in Charge. People Cheer when Charles
bites neck of beautiful girl. Sergio see scene that was shot at goth grave
club! Amazing! People clap and cheer. Sergio's film "look out
ghost" come on. For once Sergio see faults. people see director in
mirror, you can hear Mom talking to imigration officer on phone in next room,
see tripod lying on couch, actor is boy with wig on, and worse of all - NO
CHARLES IN CHARGE! People boo and and say what is this? Then Ludwig win
award! He make joke at podium about how bad Look out Ghost was and want his
lost time of life back! People laugh and agree, Sergio slump in his chair.
Mother, Father, Grandma, and Grandpa look embarressed and sad for Sergio,
well father look angry, but everyone else look sad. Sergio will find out
where Ludwig lives and stop him from making more movie! Sergio just want to
rip off Scream like all other film makers in America! What went wrong!
Someone please help Sergio! What do wrong!!!!???
Wally_Fong from REwind Online
WHat?!?!? Posted 3-10-2001 10:40
Ya know I like that French Canadian guy better Jason Marceau. At least he can
make sense, even if is french.
tygerbug [guest] from REwind Online
... Posted 3-11-2001 03:54
God help us all, Sergio's back and ready for more.
Jay BlancScreen [guest] from REwind Online
... Posted 3-11-2001 07:47
I was actually starting to miss Sergio. Hey, Sergio, you coming to the RMA
festival? I can't wait to see "Look Out Ghost!"
Jay
Jon from REwind Online
Ludwig.. Posted 3-11-2001 08:43
Look Out Ghost will suck, why enter.. now this Ludwig guy, he sounds like the
man. I'm gonna order copies of his movies right now, and while I waiting I'll
think of how badly Sergio sucks. Man does he suck.
Jon
Jon from REwind Online
Aww, you guys.. (givin' noogies to Jason and Derek) Posted 3-29-2001 19:26
Everyone here is just terrific. Except maybe Sergio.. 'Look Out! Ghost' was
predictable and flat. Hehe.. so it's said and done, and moviemaking life goes
on. Maybe it's my lack of updates.. when the new site goes up, there'll be
plenty to talk about. ;)
I'll leave it at that. Got way too many technical nightmares going on here to
get into it anyway. :)
Jon
Mike Branum [guest] from REwind Online
Jon......oh, poor Jon....... Posted 3-30-2001 00:39
Well, at least you got the spelling of TECHNICAL right this time, but I
suppose it's a glitch, huh? Yeah, I've heard that the Canadian keyboard
system is set up differently, with all the words like "tonnes" and
others thrown about. Also, is it true that toilet flush counter-clockwise
there? Are you guys even into toilets, or are you still using outhouses?
Oh, and don't you have some updates to do?
Just wantin' to be a 6 year old again.
-Mike Branum
Sergio! [guest] from REwind Online
Movie not make itself! Posted 4-20-2001 07:12
Hallo friends, Today is day I go on field trip to television studio where
they film famous American children's TV show "Seasame Street Show"
Uncle Vincenzo get me on tour cause he work as janitor on set. He say
"eh, my nephew Sergio make movie" so they say I can come on to see
set and how magic happen!!! So Sergio go, and I figured friends in low budget
website would like to hear tale! I first walk in studio to see many large
bright lights. These must be what shine so bright? I see street and door way
of seasame street!. I say where oskar? I try to open door to bakery, door
open, but no bakery inside? Just 2x4's, electrical cable, and other junk? Man
explain to me why so many lights are needed to make set look like it
outdoors. Set? I say. He say set. I say "why not shoot on real seasame
street. He say there is no real seasame street. I tell him there is! I see it
on TV!! He tell me to relax. He make me mad so I tell him NO!! You relax!! He
then call for something called security? What this is I soon find out. Men
grab me and drag me out! I say "I just want to see real seasame
street!" then I see Big Bird!! and what happen next will haunt dreams
forever. Big Bird pull off his own head! Man with beard murder big bird and
wear his skin like suit! someone tell Bugs and Dafy to help, crazy people
have taken over Seasame Street!!
Marc Linn [guest] from REwind Online
Sergio, comedian Posted 4-20-2001 16:56
It's posts like these that make me wish I knew who's behind all these Segio
posts. Pretty funny stuff.
Wally_Fong from REwind Online
Sergio a pastry chef? Posted 4-20-2001 23:09
Cause whatever your baking in your kitchen lemme in on the reciepe. Cause I'm
sure your a masturbater er... I mean master baker...
Wally..
Jon from REwind Online
Could Sergio be at the fest? Posted 6-28-2001 00:28
We at REwind are pleased to announce that we will be taking The Bags, Justice
and Voice of Reason out of the festival lineup so that we can run the Sergio
debut, 'Look Out! Ghost!' over and over. According to Sergio's review of his
own movie, it's got a scary ghost and 'adult love'. Of course this itinerary
change will only happen if Sergio shows up and introduces the film himself on
stage.
Yes, I'm kidding. (Hopefully those not familair with Sergio didn't just have
a heart attack.) Sergio! You must come to festival and bring mother's
meatballs with you for all!
Jon
S [guest] from REwind Online
sergio Posted 6-28-2001 05:50
sergio will be there. try and find me.
Tygerbug Garrett [guest] from REwind Online
LOOK OUT GHOST BUSTER! Posted 7-20-2001 06:54
And now, a very special post-REwind fest message from elephant rape and
Garrett Gilchrist from Orange Cow.
If you're from a production team who had at least one person attending Camp
REwind, read this, you are needed for a very special collaborative filmmaking
assigment. If no one you know was at Camp REwind, well, you got your own
problems, ignore this and go cry in a corner somewhere or something.
Anyway, to the point. I will copy this from an email I sent some folks
already, since I dunno if I wanna type it all again.
--
I was trying to shoot a movie called Ghost Busted at the fest, a few real
scenes and a lot of running around with the camera asking people what sort of
Ghostbuster they'd be. It was inspired by Jason Santo's article at
Crazymofo.com about wanting to be a ghostbuster in real life. Some scenes
were shot. I gathered some footage, but not enough -- Mike Stoklasa from GMP
is supposed to edit it. Anyway, I thought I'd turn the unfinished project
into a real collaborative effort, where teams that were at the fest could
shoot their own footage on their own terms and then send it in to Mike for
inclusion in the finished thingy.
Yeah, so the movie wasn't completed as scripted. I wasn't concerned then,
since I was too busy having lotsa fun at the Fest, and I'm not concerned now,
because let's face it, there were people who weren't at the Fest [though
their directors were] who were thus sorely missed -- Rich Evans, Jesse
Sorgatz, Liza Renley, Dan Gorgone, C.C. Chapman, Roman Berman, Frank Parker,
Kerry Gorgone, Joe Vaccariello, David Ashe, Chris Federico -- I could go on
and on. Think of this as a way of getting them into the Fest in an honorary
fashion. We will ALL be in the same movie now, combining comedy sketches and
documentary footage. All we need from you is footage starring your team!
It's simple enough -- shoot some footage about Ghostbusters [on MiniDV if you
have it, otherwise dupe it to MiniDV afterwards, or VHS or SVHS, he can't
work with it otherwise] ... the footage should be postmarked by July 27th, so
you'll have to work fast. What we'd like is, your production team lipsynching
along, in a car or walking along or whatever, to the tune of Ray Parker Jr's
"Ghostbusters" theme [this will be cut into a montage, so shoot
several different short bits of footage from any point in the song]. If you
have time, we'd be interested in seeing you direct a brief original comedy
sketch that has ghosts or the paranormal or references to Ghostbusters or
Ghostbusting in it -- your team could become the Ghostbusters and parody a
scene from the film, or simply be set upon by strange occurrences that could
only be blamed on ghosts. You don't have to edit this footage, Mike will do
it, just send him the script along with your tape.
Please MAKE A COPY OF YOUR FOOTAGE before sending it to Mike. Tapes can and
will be lost in the mail, and you don't want to lose your only copy. But do
send Mike the original footage and not the copy, for best quality.
The sketches should be your group-centric. For example, Stoklasa himself will
be including Rich Evans in the festivities, and hilarity will ensue. From
Infiniti, we might want to see the Canadian Ghostbusters -- since after all
Harold Ramis, Rick Moranis etc were Canadian and this is a strong part of the
Ghostbusters heritage. Also, Wally would have to say that his pimp hand is
strong. And fight. And Steve could run. From Foo, we already got a story with
April holding her right hand over her ear and being disappointed with Jay's
childishness -- can this arc be resolved? Might Axl Madsumo appear? Rusty
Hoot could fight ghosts with swords. Chubby Ninja could do what they do. And
Queequeeg, well, Queequeeg can do whatever the heck they want. They made
plastic bags menacing, ghosts should be child's play. References to the
films, the cartoon show, and the films of Sergio are acceptable ....
basically, have fun, run riot, do whatever you like. This is all about the
funny. Hell, if the real Sergio is around here, feel free to submit your film
"Look Out Ghost," anonymously if you like -- it will be used in its
entirety. Never did figure out who that guy was, though I still have my
suspicions ....
I dunno what will happen, this could be a cool little project if I can get
people from each production group to submit.
J.Brugmann from REwind Online
Sergio... Posted 7-20-2001 20:15
Was it Branum?
===
JoHn
tygerbug [guest] from REwind Online
... Posted 7-21-2001 04:18
No, Brugmann. Branum is the one person Sergio isn't.
Hey Jon, can you put the info about the Ghost Busted thing up as a news item
on the FP?
J.Brugmann from REwind Online
okay, i get it. Posted 7-21-2001 09:28
So, it was Branum?
===
JoHn
Sergio [guest] from REwind Online
Does Sergio Dream of Electric Sheep? Posted 7-23-2001 17:08
Hello my friends it Sergio! I make back from home country and totally forget
to go to rewind movie magic awards. Deepest appologies. I see many sheep in
home country and even see release of new American Film "Bubbles love
me" starring Tickle Me Elmo. It suck, but Sergio must always see new
Woody Allen film when it come out.
Reason for going to old country was Father need to see his dying grandmother,
she was 112 years old. Father cry at her bed side while she pass away. Sergio
stand by playing gameboy. As Grandmootie pass on into next life, Sergio pass
on to next level in Tetris! Father break Gameboy and tell me Grandmootie
secretly hated me. He storm out of room.
Now that grandmootie finally die it was time to return to America! Sergio
love old country, but love America even more. Old Country does not have
things America does. like good movies, raves, and fast food! However,
Sergio's love of American greed come back to haunt him. Other night Sergio
have terrible dream. Sergio traped in rectangular video game screen. ten feet
above I see Grandmootie!! Her face is blue and she is half decomposed. She
laughing at Sergio and throwing down tetris pieces. Sergio catch them and try
to form puzzle, but Sergio not fast enough!!! Pieces fall and hit Sergio in
head, Grandmootie laugh louder and more often. Pieces keep coming as she
throw them at me. Faster and Faster!! Sergio can't keep up and soon is
trapped!! suffocated!!.... Sergio wake up in cold sweat. Was it dream? Or was
grandmootie haunting Sergio from beyond the grave for playing gameboy while
she died? Sergio will never know. Dream was scary cause Sergio could not form
puzzle, can you?
Hallo friends, my name is Sergio and I write script other day called
"Noon Beast" and we film movie same day!! Noon Beast about a giant
beast that only come out at noon! to feast!!!! booo! father read screenplay
and then hit me with can of beer and say "Sergio! Beast come out at
midnight! midnight is scary, noon is in broad daylight! that not scary!"
I tell father to go to hell and he leaves drunk to go drive school bus
(father lost job at fishery due to incident with co-worker of ethnicity and
some name calling) I tell father that noontime is lunch time and that when
beast feed........he feed...... on people going on their lunch breaks! He
tell me I stupid. Mother say she love script and so Noon Beast maybe scary if
get good mask at Osco. I tell her "NO!" we get mask at K-Mart!!
they much better!! she cry. So I go to shoot movie on main street. Hans show
up and say "where girl?" Girl not show up again. So Hans say,
"Noon beast really comes out at night because you have no lights,
right" I not say anything, but action! Klaus is wearing mask and here
come old lady. Klaus knock old lady down and start to bite her skin. She yell
for police, but instead we see school bus coming up street swerving out of
control! we hear sounds of children screaming, bus tip over and crash into
post office. Klaus run up to bus and open emergency door. He help children
out of back one by one as Hans film footage for extra! Kids say "Noon
beast is our hero!" but I say NO! noon beast is monster! MONSTER!.......
but maybe father is real monster. who drives school bus drunk. Hmmmmm maybe
Noon Beast isn't so bad after all?
Jay BlancScreen [guest] from REwind Online
Hallo, friend! Posted 10-14-2001 04:19
Ah, Sergio. It's been a while. I had feared he wouldn't return. Thankfully he
has...to fill our lives with joy and laughter...or anger and annoyance in
some people's cases.
-Jay
tygerbug [guest] from REwind Online
... Posted 10-14-2001 04:55
To paraphrase the ad campaign for Neil Simon's "The Goodbye Girl":
Thank you Sergio, for making us laugh at love. Again.
Sergio's fan [guest] from REwind Online
Where is Sergio... Posted 11-10-2001 17:15
...I really miss him.
Eric [guest] from REwind Online
Somehow Posted 11-12-2001 00:54
I get the feeling that Sergio will be back real soon.
Wally_Fong from REwind Online
sergio Posted 11-12-2001 01:10
who cares
Sergio [guest] from REwind Online
Goodbye Friends! Posted 11-15-2001 21:09
Hallo and Goodbye! Sergio write last post to say goodbye to amature movie
friends as I move back to home land. In America Sergio fail as film maker,
but had good time making movies! even if girl not show up. Here are my
favorite movies I have made.
1. Look out Ghost
2. Look out Ghost 2: look out again
3. Look out Ghost 3: Why haven't you looked?!
4. The basement may be haunted
5. Jack and Jill make baby (adult love film)
6. Father beat Mother (sergio accidentally left camera on, but make for great
comedy film)
Tommorrow I move back to homeland and will not have access to computer any
more. Sergio will continue life on farm as sheep hearder, but who
knows....ghost may show up.... take care friends! and best of luck to you and
your movies!
