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Topic:WHAT???
John [guest] from REwind Online Reply To This Message
Looking For Someone... Posted 10-21-2001 02:28
My Name is John Soloman and I work for the development department for Dreamworks Pictures. I've heard some industry buzz about an amature film called "Moon Beast". I like this concept and feel it's fresh in reguards to the horror genera. I'd like to contact the film makers, but can't find any more info. This is in reguards to a possible acquisition deal. We'd be talking in the upper six figures for an advance. We have some stars attached to the project that are interested in the concept, but we need the film maker to send us the script and his or her directing experience. Thank you. my email is


Johnsmn1@Dreamworks.com
Jon from REwind Online Mail To The Creator Reply To This Message
.. Posted 10-21-2001 02:58
Ah man. Here it comes. If by extreme slim chance you are who you say you are, your approach is likely going to make the moviemakers you refer to look very, very bad.

For starters, your spelling is terrible, as is your grammar. But I've met many adults with poor English.

Second, to sign a deal memo with an actor for a project you haven't optioned yet is illegal.

Third, no development executive in their right mind would 1)commit money and people to a concept alone 2) talk figures in any regard in a public forum before purchase and 3)post their e-mail to a public forum for aspiring filmmakers. Very few would refer to buying a script as aquisition either.. it's an LPA, not a coorporation. I'm sure you'll know what LPA stands for.

Also, scripts are optioned and shopped - anyone who got through the first year of film school should know this - they are bought outright much, much later. And no new writer would bring in six digits for an option, or even a script. Joe Eszterhas, the highest paid writer in Hollywood at my last check, is one the very few who could ask for those numbers on a concept alone.

Anyway, the point is that if you're going to bullshit, at least research it a bit.

Jon

PS - Please don't mail the provided address anyone.. for all we know it could be a Dreamworks employee who won't know where the hell this is coming from.

PPS - If this is John from Dark Dragon, I wouldn't take this approach. Just play it straight, you'll get a lot more support!


[ This message was edited by: Jon on: 10-21-2001 02:57 ]
lcstark from REwind Online Mail To The Creator Reply To This Message
John Hale Posted 10-21-2001 03:23
I believe that John Soloman is John Hale/Bolski (johnbolski15@hotmail.com). The same John who is working on "Moon Beast", (http://www.geocities.com/darkdragonfilms/moonbeast.html) please note that Dark Dragon Films has many posts in the forums about "Moon Beast" (I searched) and they were all posted by Dragon (our lighting friend).

Sigh. Relax John, everyone here will help, listen to, and /like you/ if you just be honest.

Tell us about your project! The site is slim on details, but it looks interesting! Tell us some of your ideas!

-L


[ This message was edited by: lcstark on: 10-21-2001 02:49 ]
Steven [guest] from REwind Online Reply To This Message
Also Looking... Posted 10-21-2001 06:38
Hello, I am a director and have been working in the production department at Dreamworks since it's onset. I have agreed with Mr. Soloman to direct the film "Moon Beast" even though I have not yet read the script or heard more than a two line description from him. I assume that is it about a beast. Or the moon. Or something.

However, I have been a successful director in Hollywood for some time time. I guarantee many of you have seen my work. I am really anxious to begin work on this project. Please contact John with the script. If you choose, you may also contact myself:

s_spielberg@dreamworks.com

Because this project is in preproduction I cannot give you my full name.
C.C. from REwind Online Reply To This Message
creativity Posted 10-21-2001 12:08
It's amazing how quickly a group can show up on this list and then instantly decide to look like complete fools right before our eyes.

Dreamworks? AHAHAHA!! At least say Mirimax or some company like that which at least makes movies in the same genre. *laugh*

Bad spelling gets you every time. I'm famous for it.
Dragon from REwind Online Mail To The Creator Reply To This Message
What the... Posted 10-21-2001 12:38
Whoa! Guys It aint me who posted that message. My Grammer isn't that great now but, I've been in school long enough to wright a decent letter. John Soloman, please who ever this cat is he ain't me cause I'm not Solo in anything I do, I have understanding friends who are willing to help me. I was just going to leave the board and I read this post. Now I think something is up for some reason. Why would dreamworks be interested in my film? I mean this is a cool little project I got going and Dreamworks wants to give me a six figure deal? Something just dosen't feel right and Spielberg posted too eh?. I see I got my Rewind crew behind me (sorry about the lights guys).

Name: John Hale
I'm a senior in High School.I've never had a decent day of filmschool training. So that why I think the post is bull. I wouldn't even respond to it.

Jon what's your say on this. Seeing you have tons more experience than me in making films. I would understand if it was Kaijuman but Moon Beast. Bah!


[ This message was edited by: Dragon on: 10-21-2001 12:35 ]
Wally_Fong from REwind Online Mail To The Creator Reply To This Message
Hey Steven.. Posted 10-21-2001 15:22
Mr. S. Spielberg... maybe horror isn't your thing.
Besides if you were really serious you wouldn't be
pitching under the Dreamworks banner. Whatever
happend to Amblin Entertainment eh?... anyways if
you have a free moment tell Jackie Chan to give
me back my shoes because I'm sick of walking on
broken glass, and the lights are out.... and I think
there's terrorists in the building... one of them
strangely looks like Alan Rickman..

Jet Li....er Wally...

ps. Tell Tom hanks to stop ripping off your ideas
George Lucas [guest] from REwind Online Reply To This Message
Torgo Posted 10-21-2001 15:58
Im not interested in Moonbeast, however, I would love to make a pre-quel to TORGO: Quest For Fuck.

It will be mostly CGI and will tell how Torgo became so "special"
Orson Welles [guest] from REwind Online Mail To The Creator Reply To This Message
Rosebud Posted 10-21-2001 16:59
Hello. I am Orson Welles, and I am dead. You can imagine that I lived a long life, however I feel that I lived an unnecessarily short, and painfully degrading one at that.

My death changed dramatically after reading the salacious and heart-racing expose known as "Tortilla - A life In Three Parts", written by a man named Hardgrave.

RKO, which I have recently re-signed with, has acquired the option for this outstanding bit of literary work, and I've attached my name as producer/director, along with my co-producer, the late John Houseman. He's dead, isn't he? At least he was last time I checked.

I will, however, need to speak with this Hardgrave person, or is it Hargrave, regarding the revision of his script. The figurative essence exists, yet it lacks the dimension and depth of character needed to be successful in this day and age.

Recently, I spoke with the late Howard Hughes about shooting this in Brazil, and we have decided to take a camera, a mule's worth of delicious wine and a spartan crew down there to visit Rio in all its splendor and grace.

Please do write me for I am curious. To believe that such demented genius could come from a source such as this only re-establishes by wanton thirst for all things urban.

Salaciously yours,
Orson

P.S., Please arrange for two seats together on the airplane, for I seem to be a bit obese, and find it necessary to imbibe drink and fine cuisine.

Thank you.
Dario Argento [guest] from REwind Online Mail To The Creator Reply To This Message
Moon Beast Posted 10-21-2001 17:11
I too, am very interested in "Moon Beast". I have been waiting hundreds of years for a movie so original, magical, and yet, strangely pedestrian to be available. Tell me that you are looking for a company.

My filmography, as you may well know, is similar to your astonishing work. I have finally found the perfect film in "Moon Beast". After visiting many company websites that are associated with this fine, "willing to help the limited-creativity auteur" online master company, I have come to a conclusion....only can "Moon Beast" be the perfect horror movie to end all competition.

In doing so, please accept my offer of one hundred million, billion, schmillion dollars (U.S.) to obtain your screenplay. You truly are a unique company, and although your movie is simple at best, it can only get better if put into the hands of someone who can make it properly.

I would like that chance.

ciao,
Dario
15 Estamino Vente Piacce
Firenza, Italia Box. 74
John [guest] from REwind Online Reply To This Message
Alright. Forget it... Posted 10-21-2001 17:20
My Name is John Soloman and I read the replies to my letter. I can't believe that you would think I am not who I say I am. I have been hoping to find an amature to add to the horror genera in an acquisition deal for my stars, and "Moon Beast" is the movie I want.

I really do work for Dreamworks Pictures. Email me. If you think this is a hoax, then you amatures really need to look in the mirror. Maybe if you didn't act like you hated us in forums so much, when we know you buy our movies, you would find more opportunities for us to get you script made. I know I don't have good spelling, but I'm serious.

There really is an industry buzz. I'm not making this up. I read about "Moon Beast" in the Hollywood Reporter, saying it was one of the best amature film ideas to come out in a long time. And yes, I have stars attached to the project. I will ask one more time to have his person send me a script. My email is

Johnsmn1@Dreamworks.com
Robert Redford [guest] from REwind Online Reply To This Message
MOON BEAST Posted 10-21-2001 19:03
This is Robert Redford. I am an actor who works for Hollywood and I have stared in many notable features such as All Presidents Men, Three Days of the Condor, and Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid. I am also very involved with independant films (I started the Sundance film festival). I don't usually post here, but I figured I'd chime in and give my two cents.

I am the actor that is attached to the Moon Beast project. Harvey Weinstein mailed me a copy of the Moon Beast screenplay that has been circulating in most of the major studios recently. My breath was taken away. Though the script was only 11 pages long and was not industry format, I still saw the potential in it's poetic words.

I mean sure it had scene descriptions that sounded like they were written by a fourth grader, but it was the way it was written. Here's an excerpt from the script:

"The guy goes up to the house and then this thing comes down and hits him in the head and blood flies all over the place and then his girlfriend yells"

It was also the totally original idea of the film that grabbed me. I mean, a beast from the moon. It was a great concept.

I was sitting in a screening of my latest film "The Last Castle" and I was bored. I kept thinking about the Moon Beast and my mind was telling me that this is a story that has to be told. Audiences need to hear the story of a killer moon beast and the brave people who risked everything to stop it.

-Robert Redford
Grammer Expert [guest] from REwind Online Reply To This Message
...... Posted 10-21-2001 19:13
Calculations are in....


"Whoa! Guys It AINT me who posted that message. My Grammer ISN'T that great now BUT, I've been in school long enough to WRIGHT a decent letter."
C.C. from REwind Online Reply To This Message
Look at all the celebreties Posted 10-21-2001 19:22
George Lucas doing a CGI history of Torgo. Now THAT would be fun to watch!

Hey Orsen, what took you so long to find us. I still think your best movie was The Muppet Movie. I cheer everytime my son watches the movie and you come on the screen. Good stuff.

I love it when the REwind forums randomly get thrown into a bit of chaos. Big fun.
Orson Welles [guest] from REwind Online Reply To This Message
Moon Beast Posted 10-21-2001 19:53
The unfortunate occurance of being asked, however politely, off the set of Mr. Lucas' somewhat vapid translation of an inferior first draft of what will soon go down in literary history as the greatest account of a work of pure fright....and I'm speaking of "Moon Beast" led me to originally write.

While I have written before, but to no avail some time ago, I feel that this is somewhat of an.....oh, how should I put it.....a good-ol-boys club, I ceased and deceased. Now, however, it is "Moon Beast" that compelled me to step forth from the grave.

I know not of the movie from which thou speaks, you who prefer to be called C.C., although I do remember the moppets from a blurry vision I had growing up as an adult. It had to do with fur, a giant yellow ostrich, and an orangutan that let my insert my hand into it all the way up to the cervix.

Can somebody explain to me what CGI is? I am at a loss.

Please, if it has to do with "Moon Beast" then I would be ever so curious.

Thank you,
Orson

With an "o"
Robert Altman [guest] from REwind Online Reply To This Message
Fuck Hollywood Posted 10-21-2001 19:57
Hell, I'd take a stab at it if I knew that I wasn't going to get stabbed back by those cocksuckers in Hollywood. They should all burn at the stake!! Goddamm babies wouldn't let me smoke my weed on set. Oooh!! The union wouldn't like it!!!! Ooohhh!!! Well, I say fuck 'em!!!!

Take your movie, kid, and tell them to stick it in their ass!!!

You don't need them. They need you. MOON BEAST!! MOON BEAST!!! GO!!!
Aaron Spelling [guest] from REwind Online Reply To This Message
Moon Beast Posted 10-21-2001 20:03
I heard from a friend of my daughter's that happened to be downloading porn that I might find somebody with information on "Moon Beast" and it looks like I came to the right place.
Let me tell you something young man. A lot of these sleazy directors want to get their mitts on this and exploit you. Don't let 'em. I'll give you real money to help see this thing through. No charge, no repayment. Just a gift.

All I ask is that you put Tori in it. Poor girl hasn't had a part in years. I've been trying to write a series around her, but how do you write something about a girl who looks like a bleached out salamander who can't act to save her life? Tell me, my boy.

Wait! Maybe she can be the Moon Beast!! She's got enough talent to do that, plus she sucks like a Hoover vacuum!

Good luck, son. I'll keep my eye on you.
Cecil B. DeMille [guest] from REwind Online Mail To The Creator Reply To This Message
Moon Beast vs. Cleopatra Posted 10-21-2001 20:12
Over 25 hard-working men have died during the making of this movie and we haven't even seen the script yet. That doesn't mean dick to me!! I'd still make it. How about this...

Egypt. Pharoah has just died, and the people are in a state of siege (that way I can use the dead bodies that have collected in my office) and are revolting. Suddenly, just as they approach Cleopatra....so sue me if my history's a bit wrong. Spielberg does it. Why can't I? Hell, nobody that's alive was actually THERE, so who gives a shit? So, just as they approach Cleopatra, out of nowhere comes this huge Moon Beast riding on a chariot pulled by 26 flaming horses of the apocalypse.

You like it? If you do, I could probably get $80mil to start and we could shoot the whole thing in the San Fernando Valley. Lotsa hot chicks there.

C.B. DeMille
Roger Ebert [guest] from REwind Online Mail To The Creator Reply To This Message
Two Thumbs Way, Way Up!!! Posted 10-21-2001 20:18
The quintessential horror epic "Moon Beast" has quietly been making waves in Hollywood circles these days, and the early word is that this wunderflik will redefine the genre. It's so compelling that I'll have to give it "two thumbs way, way up" even though Gene is still dead.

All of these fantastic filmmakers are here. This is a wonderful sight. Moon beast must be fantastic.

Roger Ebert
At The Movies
Grammer Expert [guest] from REwind Online Reply To This Message
Oopsy Daisy......... Posted 10-21-2001 20:22
Calculations are in.....

I messed up. I misspelled "grammar." Damn. Now I have to get a new screenname.
Charlton Heston [guest] from REwind Online Mail To The Creator Reply To This Message
Add me. Posted 10-21-2001 20:25
I would like to put my name in as a possibility to play the Moon Beast. I believe I was meant for the part, and it was meant for me.

I won't work for that commie pinko leftist DeMille though, so if he's on, I'm off.

If you want action, Chuck's your man. If you want left-wing hippy homo propaganda, let Cecil wreck it.

Charlton Heston
V.P. National Rifle Association
Guy from REwind Online Mail To The Creator Reply To This Message
heh heh.... Posted 10-21-2001 20:26
"Wright a letter"....heh, heh
Joe Esterhaus [guest] from REwind Online Reply To This Message
Moon Beast 2: Moon Beasts from the Moon Posted 10-21-2001 20:30
I have begun working on a script for a sequel (as I have read the original Moon Beast script and plan to sell my script after the first film is a success) The title is Moon Beast 2: Moon Beasts from the Moon

I have taken great care to copy the style of the original Moon Beast script, here is the first scene.

EXT. SCARYHOUSE - NIGHT

Sara Johnson an teen high school student is watching friends on there tv set.

Sara
I like Friends.

Her mom nocks on her door.

Mom
Sara stop watching friends and do yore
homework.

Sara
Leave me alone mom! You always tell me
what to do.

then Mom leaves and then Moon beast comes in window and tears sara's head off. blood flies all over her wall and the TV that was showing friends. Sherif come in room with gun. but the moon beast is gone.

Later the sherif tell sara's mother what happened to her daughter.

Sherrif
Yore daghters head was ripped off
by a hideous creature called a
moon beast.

Mom
Please stop this moon beast! my
daugher was a nice person and I
liked her.

Fade out

Well that's all I have so far. Let me know what you think.

-Joe
Rod Serling [guest] from REwind Online Mail To The Creator Reply To This Message
Picture if you will.... Posted 10-21-2001 20:46
...a terrified young girl named Sara Johnson. So afraid that even the nightly sitcom leaves her screaming for her mommy. This isn't a hayride in the meadow for our little friend. She is just about to meet the Moon Beast 2.

At the signpost up ahead she realizes she's in the Twilight Zone!!
Leonard Maltin [guest] from REwind Online Mail To The Creator Reply To This Message
Moon Beast 2 - A Smashing Romp!! Posted 10-21-2001 20:50
Mr. Esterhaus, I LOVE IT!! It's loaded with fun and laughs for the whole family. I can't wait to see what you do with the part where the mommy shoots ping-pong balls out of her butt.

Best Possible Rating!! Possibly better than the original!!!

Leonard Maltin
Film Critic
Melanie Crabtree [guest] from REwind Online Reply To This Message
ENOUGH!!!! Posted 10-21-2001 20:58
oh my god!!! what is gong on here? i cant beleive this!
john told me to look at this because he told me we were getting a moive deal from someone name john and i diden't beleive him but it sounded good and i looked and oh my god! you guys are real jerks for saying all this stuff! if that's what this place is than i dont want to show are moives here its not right to be this way you should be as ashamede of yourselfs.

mel
jessica jones in MOON BEAST
John Waters [guest] from REwind Online Reply To This Message
Leonard sucks! Posted 10-21-2001 20:59
Screw you, Leonard. You bitch!! That was MY idea with the ping pong balls.
Martin Scorcese [guest] from REwind Online Mail To The Creator Reply To This Message
Moon Beast 2 Posted 10-21-2001 21:17
Screw it. I'd have that mother get shot right at the end of the opening credits. It's the only way to really get your point across.
An another thing, what's with these whiny little girls in movies lately? Have we all gotten soft? I read the first Moon Beast and it was full of hardcore, fur-flying violence. Now I see Esterhaus' titty rendition...no wonder this one sounds like a bad Corman movie!!
Yeah, I know. There are no good Corman movies. Oh, and I read the first Moon Beast when my friend John from Dreamworks gave it to me. Dumb as a pack of bricks, but he's alright.

Oh yeah. Preserve film.

Marty
Roger Corman [guest] from REwind Online Mail To The Creator Reply To This Message
The poor girl Posted 10-21-2001 21:25
That does it!! I've been sitting here reading these posts, and I've been pretty good about keeping my mouth shut, but I've had ENOUGH!!! Whoever is playing this ridiculous game STOP RIGHT NOW!!!

I can't believe that I wasn't called first on this. I'm the person everyone calls first. It's horror, it's low-budget. Who else are you going to call? Do you honestly think that Dreamworks is going to pay you?

I'll tell you what...I'll give you $48 to shoot the first one, and you don't even have to show it to me. Just come work on a movie as a production assistant in exchange. All the greats did it. You can too.

I'm just between Santa Monica and Venice by the beach. Can't miss it.

Roger

Love the sequel idea though. Let's talk.
Charlie Chaplin [guest] from REwind Online Reply To This Message
........ Posted 10-21-2001 21:34
{Holding moon beast script}

{gives thumbs up sign}
Entertainment Weekly [guest] from REwind Online Reply To This Message
Cover Story! Posted 10-21-2001 21:43
We just started hearing all the buzz about this new Moon Beast film and word is Redford and Dustin Hoffman are attached. Another unconfirmed rumor is that Marlin Brando will be playing the moon beast! The cast of teens will feature some of the hottest young actors in Hollywood today. Mark Paul Gossler, Jennifer Love Hewit, Dawsons Creak guy, and Carrot top. Music by Jay-lo, Jay-z, and Ja-rule featuring Naz, Mystikal, koniver, ludikriz, konvict, and krayon. We want the director to contact us asap for a cover story shoot.
Orson_Welles from REwind Online Reply To This Message
Alas..... Posted 10-21-2001 22:54
I am afraid it is only I who could carry a film as rich and noble as the wonderful "Moon Beast" to its ultimate conclusion. For I am not an ordinary man, no. I am but a poor, humble genius, afraid of mine own shadow, yet elequent to a fault.

Pity the poor filmmaker attempting to realize what cannot be realized, for it is truly his difficult mind playing tricks on him, inasmuch as a boundless desire and will to produce nay such a wondrous feat as this.

Behold!! The Moon Beast Cometh!!

Orson
Jon from REwind Online Reply To This Message
Alright guys.. Posted 10-21-2001 23:26
Over 30 posts overnight? Good lord. I think the point has been more than pounded into the ground, let's give it a rest.

I don't know or care who Soloman is. I can tell you he isn't a development executive of any kind, or if he is, then Dreamworks is in serious trouble, financially and legally. But they aren't. They're a solid company.

John, some people here dislike the large studio system. Some of us could care less about it. Some of us like it. But nobody seriously walks into a public filmmakers forum and posts what you posted. Nobody.

Whether this post is from Dark Dragon or not, it's making them look very bad. If it's someone trying to make them look bad, then I'm sure the company will be able to figure out who it is and deal with it offline. In the long run, this sort of crap equates to little more than a laugh around here. Do something more productive with your time, and you'll earn much more respect.

Melanie, please don't take the reactions of the few as a judgement on REwind. If this person John in fact offered you a deal, run, don't walk, in the opposite direction - he's a liar, or possibly the worst development executive on earth. Either one will ruin your project in a heartbeat if you let them. I wish all the best for your production - stay focused on the task, and don't get distracted by stuff like this. (Perhaps at some point it would be in your interest to determine who is posting these comments though - you likely know him or her, and it's this sort of person who holds others back. Remember this.)

As for 'Soloman', you've again stated your illegal actions. It is unlawful and unprofessional to attach any talent to a project that you do not have rights to do so with. Anybody with a job involving entertainment law would know this. I'll remind you that as a public forum, your comments could be admissable in court. Out of curiousity, if you couldn't couldn't even contact the writer of Moon Beast, how is it you obtained the treatment? Scripts don't just float around. Which issue of the Reporter did MB appear in? On which page? If I check the WGA or LC registry, will MB's treatment be holding proper copyright? If it's being passed around Hollywood it most certainly has. If not, then the idea is still fair game by US law and need not be purchased. (Register it Dark Dragon - if it's a good as stated, it's well worth it. And don't wait!) And lastly, I'm still waiting for you to tell me what an LPA is John. Any pro scriptwriter or development executive would know, but I get the distinct feeling you don't.

Quit wasting your time and ours poster, and start making movies. It's why we're here. I hope it will turn out very well and get picked up by someone serious. We'll be here to help.

Jon
J.Brugmann from REwind Online Reply To This Message
C'mere you... Posted 10-21-2001 23:35
BAHAHHAHHAHAhhahHAHhahhahhahHAHa.

Best. Thread. Ever.

I love you guys. C'mere, gimme a hug. Awww, come on. Hug! Hug!

===
JoHn
Wally_Fong from REwind Online Mail To The Creator Reply To This Message
tsk tsk... Posted 10-22-2001 00:35
Brugs man if this stupid thread was your idea man
it was plain stupid..

If not, then sorry dude... I'll send ya some pie..

Wally..
C.C. from REwind Online Reply To This Message
Man.... Posted 10-22-2001 02:18
I thought the "Santo is a Fat Dork" thread was pointless and out of control, but this if just downright fucking insane.

I truly wonder if whoever started this had any idea what would happen. I went and ate some dinner, came back and all hell had broken loose. Don't you people have anything better to do with your time? Go make a movie or something!

Sergio are you behind this?
De Nomolos [guest] from REwind Online Reply To This Message
... Posted 10-22-2001 05:36
My name is Ed Solomon, I'm a writer. I've written for a billion zillion movies, mostly uncredited.

And I have no interest in this "Moon Beast" project whatsoever.

However, this "Noon Beast" project this fellow Sergio has come up with sounds absolutely fascinating! It's a "Dude, Where's My Car?" for the 90s!

Oh, and if George Lucas is still posting here, tell him I'm interested in writing that Torgo sequel, though I've never seen or written the original. I've written sequels before. Maybe Torgo could go to hell? Wait, it's a prequel. Fuck.

Someday I'll tell you all the story of how the guy from "Good Times" told one of my jokes onstage ...
John Soloman [guest] from REwind Online Reply To This Message
The Moon Beast controversy Posted 10-22-2001 05:51
This is sick. Really sick. I try to make a connection with a film maker and all these people reply like this? Pretending to be famous film makers. The truth is that Dreamworks is looking to expand into the teen horror genera and we were looking for monster script. I was forwarded many Ideas and this one for the Moon Beast caught my eye. It has a catchy title and I think will work well as a first big screen credit for Mandy Moore. No links worked and I just need the phone number for this film maker, so please email me at the prestated address. I want to discuss some options with you.

and LPA is a limited partnership agreement.

sorry about my spelling and grammar.

-John Soloman.
Mandy Moore [guest] from REwind Online Reply To This Message
.. Posted 10-22-2001 06:02
I deny all of this. I am not attached to this project.

I will, however, be taking over for Natalie Sanders in the Torgo sequel.

Pleeeeeease Jay and George? Pleeeeeeeeeease?

Oh, fuck you.

I'm gonna sing "Candy."
Garrett Gilchrist [guest] from REwind Online Reply To This Message
.. Posted 10-22-2001 06:06
My name is Garrett Gilchrist, and I am not pretending to be a famous filmmaker, I actually AM famous and I'm working on three damn movies a week now so I don't post here as much as I used to. Fuck you.

Oh, and neither Mandy Moore nor Natalie Portman will not be replacing Natalie Sanders in the upcoming Torgo prequel, George. If you do that, I'm quitting, I'm out George, you can replace me with CGI. Fuck it. You couldn't replace Ian McDiarmid and you ain't replacin' me.

However, I HAVE always wanted to work with Portman's Phantom Menace stand-in, Kiera Knightley ...

And yes, Liz Dimenno will be replacing Portman in episode 3.

I will be replacing Jar-Jar.

Conqueror Ape.
Jon from REwind Online Reply To This Message
Nope. Posted 10-22-2001 06:54
Well, it was worth a guess wasn't it? But no, in development terms an LPA is not a limited partnership agreement. Wanna try again?

Be my guest, it's a free country. But this is getting old kiddo, and while it was briefly amusing to see you look like a jackass in front of everyone, I'm now bored. So don't expect an answer.

Jon

PS - Do you honestly think I'd hand out a private phone number to you, or anyone else? Have you even read our Privacy Statement? If you want to find Moon Beast, go use Google. This thread is done.


[ This message was edited by: Jon on: 10-22-2001 06:50 ]
Curt Gowdy [guest] from REwind Online Reply To This Message
LPA Posted 10-22-2001 15:57
As any true sportsfan would know, I think the young man is trying to say that it is the LPGA, otherwise known as the Ladies Professional Golf Association.

Thank you.
junkpuppet from REwind Online Reply To This Message
really interested Posted 10-22-2001 16:25
You know, I missed out on the best part of this thread, but I really must know.. what is the "horror genera"?

:)

I haven't laughed like I did reading this thread in a long time.
Marc Linn [guest] from REwind Online Reply To This Message
Dragon is a BIG FAT DORK! Posted 10-22-2001 16:44
What a lying moron this Dragon dude is. He tries to steal lights from his class, then tries to cover it up by saying it happened a long time ago. He writes this now infamous post pretending to be someone from Dreamworks. Good thing the rest of us aren't morons and can see through his bullshit. (As if it was that hard)
Thanks for showing us your true colors, so I now know never to trust you with anything.
Parkomas from REwind Online Reply To This Message
Naw... Posted 10-22-2001 16:49
This thread isn't done until somebody puts up a new picture of the man, the myth, the legend,

Bill Cosby.

Thanks for playing, eat the pudding!
lcstark from REwind Online Mail To The Creator Reply To This Message
Mr. Brugman will be upset... Posted 10-22-2001 16:54
...if this thread grows larger than the current title-holder for "longest thread on the board" that he started. ;)

-L
C.C. from REwind Online Reply To This Message
Now That Ain't Funny Posted 10-22-2001 17:14
It's one thing to post fake messages from famous directors, but there is no need to fake post as fellow REwind Members.

What I mean is I KNOW that Marc Linn didn't say the things that were just posted. At least I doubt he did.

Oh, and Parko, here ya go! Engage the pudding!!!

Oliver Stone [guest] from REwind Online Reply To This Message
It's a CONSPIRACY!!!! Posted 10-22-2001 17:39
I'm understandably impressed. I do need to say, however, that after intense research and scrutiny I've come to a few conclusions:

1. It is in fact called "Noon Beast" although the original portends to have an "M" at the beginning. Everyone knows that there is no life on the moon, however, beasts can be seen regularly at around lunchtime.

2. There are entirely too many dead directors showing up here, which leads me to believe that this is all possibly an elaborate hoax. Half of the directors are deceased, and the other half are working on it.

3. Not a bone in my body truly thinks that somebody would be courted through a public chatroom. I'm surprised that I am actually here, since I'm not an "amature" filmmaker.

4. Some of the people I do not recognize, although their statements intrigue me.

5. This smacks of collusion between the Russian Mafia and what's left of Castro's regime since the Cuban Missile Crisis.

6. We all know that if anyone is truly alive it is Jim Morrison, as he helped me make "The Doors" movie, starring Val Kilmer, which you can rent at your local video store. Or even better, buy it. It is truly a fantastic movie, if I say so myself.

Thank you for your time.

Oliver Stone
The creator of The War.
Steven Segal [guest] from REwind Online Reply To This Message
Hey Posted 10-22-2001 17:42
Hey, do you think I can be in Moon Beast? Please, I'll try hard I promise and you can use my house to film.
marclinn from REwind Online Reply To This Message
Thanks, C.C. Posted 10-22-2001 18:14
I CAN be mean, but I didn't type that message. I don't even know who this guy is...although he seems to be making plenty of enemies! I have had plenty of good laughs today, however!
(who in their right mind would impersonate me?)
C.C. from REwind Online Reply To This Message
Who's Next Posted 10-22-2001 18:17
No problem Marc. I read your "post" and cracked up laughing since any regular here knows you wouldn't post something like that.

Your right though that all this is great for a good laugh. I mean Oliver Stone just joined in. Now THAT is funny.

-C.C.
Wes Craven [guest] from REwind Online Reply To This Message
Who cares about Moonbeast Posted 10-22-2001 18:46
Everyone here knows the biggest no-budget horror on the horizon is Timberwolf Digital's SAMHAIN.

In fact, did you know it soon goes on sale. Yes, thats right, the NEW modern horror classic Samhain goes on sale October 31st.

The buzz is great, and all the studios are lined up for the sequel rights.

It has everything,great acting, cool effects, good script and best of all ... BOOBS!

I'm Wes Craven and I know horror. Forget about Moonbeast, and check out SAMHAIN! (October 31st $15.00 MSRP) :)

regards,
WES

(this post is in no way connected or indorsed by Timberwolf Digital or anyone in the group)
Wes Craven [guest] from REwind Online Reply To This Message
No autographs!!!! Posted 10-22-2001 18:50
Lousy punk kids and their stupid video cameras!!! I've had it up to here with you and your "amature" horror movies! I saw that script, and it's not horror. It's one of those damn E.T. movies!!

A beast that has a hairy tongue? What the hell is that?!?! And then the beast, who's named Horatio by the way, falls in love with the girl? Sounds like a Spielberg movie. No wonder Dreamworks wants you! There's about as much horror in that script as there is at my in-law's house on Thanksgiving!!

Take your stupid "horror" movies and shove em!! You wouldn't know low budget if it bit you on your ass!!!

Wes Craven
Master Of Horror
Wes Craven [guest] from REwind Online Reply To This Message
Taht second post wasn't me. Posted 10-22-2001 18:55
He is a phony Wes!

Byt the way, while i have your attention, I am sorry for Dracula 2000 and Wishmaster. I didn't actually see them, I just put my name on them so the studio could make a quick buck.

Regards, Wes
Alfred Hitchcock [guest] from REwind Online Reply To This Message
I've already done this. Posted 10-22-2001 18:56
I released "Moon Beast" on my television series "Alfred Hitchcock Presents" over 40 years ago. I believe that the statute of limitations has not set in yet, but I cannot be sure, since I am dead.

For the record, my version has no actual "Beast" as it were, but it was simply a term I used for my actors. Until I discovered cattle, that is.

Hitch
The Real Wes Craven [guest] from REwind Online Reply To This Message
Those first and third posts weren't me!!! Posted 10-22-2001 19:00
It is an imposter!!! Who is it?? C'mon out and stand up like a man!!!

Oh, and don't forget my retrospective on the Sci-Fi channel in three weeks.

Wes (the real one)
Dragon from REwind Online Reply To This Message
Ok enough is enough! Posted 10-22-2001 19:02
First and foremost I'm Not John Soloman.

Second, the whole lights thing happend a couple of years ago. I'm older now and realize that was wrong.

Third whoever is posting this like this on this forumn talkin trash about me! Hey everyone is intitled to their own thing, but come on enough is enough guys. Some of you are pointing the finger at me and don't know a good damn about me!

Fourth, Jon has e-mailed me personaly and asked if I started this post. I swore to him I wasn't.

Fifth, I hope this isn't true but someone here has it in for me on this board. It's just one of those feelings I have. Whoever this John Soloman is or if he really works for Dreamworks. I've got no beef with no one on this board and will continue not to. So right now I wanna drop it. Here and now.

Sixth, Melanie Crabtree is a good friend of mine and whoever thought it was funny to post as her....it wasn't.
Guy from REwind Online Mail To The Creator Reply To This Message
Fucking funny... Posted 10-22-2001 19:03
Thats all I can say, lol, fucking funny.
Woody Allen [guest] from REwind Online Reply To This Message
I could do it! Posted 10-22-2001 19:15
What about me, fellas? I could probably do a harrah movie! After all, I was routinely beaten as a child - in the Pavlovian sense, that is. My shrink says it would be good to release some of the sexual tension through blood and gore, even if it makes me nauseous.

I feel a panic attack coming on.

Max
Dragon from REwind Online Reply To This Message
I have the perfect solution to this...I'm gone Posted 10-22-2001 19:16
At least until all of this madness dies down. So seeya folks. All of you are cool cats, but it's odd how one person can mess up someones fun. I'll be sending all of my movie news and other things to Jon and Wally. So until then all of you keep cool and keep makin movies. Yeah like I need to tell you guys that :)

Peace out!

John
Bruce Lee [guest] from REwind Online Reply To This Message
Okay enough is enough! Posted 10-22-2001 19:24
I have sat here watching this "Dragon" impersonate me for too long. I am the real Dragon. I have movies about me. Some people say I am famous. I tend not to believe what I hear.

I am also dead. I am still the Dragon, anyway.

This other Dragon is an imposter.

Bruce Lee
Return Of The Dragon
Adrienne Barbeau [guest] from REwind Online Reply To This Message
Hope I'm not too late... Posted 10-22-2001 19:29
I'd like to try out for the girl in the movie "Moon Beast". Could someone send the script to my agent? It must be getting around if all of these legendary dead directors want to do it.

Thank you,
Adrienne (40"-26"-37")
Fake Mike Stoklasa [guest] from REwind Online Reply To This Message
... Posted 10-22-2001 19:37
I own part of the moon, as I mentioned in my interview on Fastforward Radio. I therefore demand a percentage of the profits of "Moon Beast," which are sure to be bigger than "Pearl Harbor" combined.

I want to be in the film, portrayed by Mandy Moore.

Sin.
Fake Marc Linn [guest] from REwind Online Reply To This Message
... Posted 10-22-2001 19:40
Motherfucker. Cock. Shit.

I hate amateur movies and all of you.

Fuck you.

Fuck.

Rape babies.

Hail Satan.

Satan, our dark lord.

Hail.

Satan.

Fuck.

Fuck this, I'm off to have eleven drinks, drive, watch a Brian De Palma movie, and worship Satan some more.

I love you.
tygerbug [guest] from REwind Online Reply To This Message
eeek Posted 10-22-2001 19:45
That's scary. Marc Linn has an evil twin ...

[thinks]

Wait a second ...
C.C. from REwind Online Mail To The Creator Reply To This Message
Damn Posted 10-22-2001 19:57
(I hate it when I write a long post and then it crashes and doesn't post! BLARGH!!)

What I was saying was don't go and leave John just because of the random assholenish of one random person who started this whole thread.

Once the person who posted originally realized that no one was going to take them seriously it appears that they (and others) turned the thread into the complete joke which we all knew it was.

Posting as famous directors is funny, but as I said earlier posting as fellow REwind Community members is not.

Keep it fun everyone.

-C.C.

PS- This thread is about to past the "Santo is a Fat Dork" thread. I NEVER thought that day would come!!!
Jean Luc Picard [guest] from REwind Online Reply To This Message
Captain's Log 102201.3 Posted 10-22-2001 20:05
While scanning the Delta Quadrant our science officer discovered gaseous anomalies eminating from the satellite orbiting the Earth, known as the Moon. After further study and sending an away team there, it was established to be nothing but a hot windbag, possibly left by a Sargassian freighter.

A particle study had negative results in reference to the possibility of the occurance to be an actual "beast." Scanning will be completed by 0900 hours tomorrow.

Captain Jean Luc Picard, U.S.S. Enterprise
J_Bruckheimer [guest] from REwind Online Reply To This Message
What the Hell? Posted 10-22-2001 20:07
This is ridiculous... one Pearl Harbor and I'm off everybody's list?!? I could get this Moon Beast picture a 300 million dollar budget at least, not to mention Tony Scott or Michael Bay. After Swordfish, I don't think I'll be using Sena anymore, I mean if you were one of the 4 people that saw it then you know what I mean. But I digress.... I'll pump this Moon Beast out in 15 days. Ben Affleck and Sean Connery fighting for the love of Angelina Jolie. Picture it, we change this beast character to a Russian MIG and we got ourselves a picture! Please for the love of my career, send me this script, I promise double what all these dead people are offering.

Jerry Bruckheimer
fake marc linn [guest] from REwind Online Reply To This Message
... Posted 10-22-2001 20:26
Bruckheimer, you have taunted me and my powers for the last time. You will not LIVE to make "Moon Beast." Anyway, it is clear that EVIL LINN productions will be making "Moon Beast," in my evil garage, with the help of my evil exgirlfriend who almost played the Pink Ranger. Hail Satan. If you even TRY to intervene in this, Bruckheimer, I will tear your heart out in a seriously gory and bloody yet oddly comical and fake-looking fashion.

Oh, but I LOVED "Pearl Harbor" by the way. But I hate Jewish people. And kittens.

And I also warn the rest of you, including my pathetic do-gooder twin brother, do not stand in my way. I cannot be defeated! My reign will last a thousand years! I dare anything! I am evil Marc Linn!

I am considering changing the spelling of my first name to "Mark." Just to piss people off. And if they spell it "Marc," I will rip their spines out and feed what's left to my pet wolf. That's right, I have a pet WOLF! Oooooo I'm evil ooooooooo.

No one can defeat me! Only one man can defeat me. But he will not defeat me. That is, of course, my arch-nemesis, my antithesis, the man who stands for everything I stand against, that pathetic do-gooder Inspector Gadget. Gadget! You have won before, but you shall not take Moon Beast from me! Moon Beast!

Oh, and my version of "Moon Beast" will star Bill Cosby.

Hail Satan.

- Marc LInn
fake marc linn [guest] from REwind Online Reply To This Message
... Posted 10-22-2001 20:35
Motherfucker! Cock! Shit!

Damn you Cosby! The pathetic fool known as Bill Cosby has just IMed me informing me that he does not want to be involved in my "Moon Beast" production, which is the ONE TRUE "Moon Beast" production, and is instead on Bruckheimer's side!

COSBY! DAAAAAMN YOOOUUUU!!!

In an unrelated note: God, I hate gay people. Kill em all, I say. They're not human, they're just homos anyway.

But I LOVED the "Moon Beast" website. A much better use of electronic equipment than that pathetic do-gooder Inspector Gadget. GADGET!

Fuck this, I'm off to slaughter some Muslims and listen to Fastforward Radio. "Into His Arms" wouldn't have been jack shit without me. Oh, and I hate Christians too. Hail Satan.
J_Bruckheimer [guest] from REwind Online Reply To This Message
uh oh... Posted 10-22-2001 20:49
I might have to respectfully withdraw from this race for the rights to Moon Beast. While I have grosses 3.5 BILLION dollars with my films, This Marc (Mark) Linn fellow works for some one far more powerful... Satan. I mean because of him, movies like Home Alone, Home Alone 2, Home Alone 3, Titanic, Stop or My Mom Will Shoot, Throw Mamma from the Train, the Psycho remake, Zoolander, Poison Ivy The New Seduction, Shakespeare in Love, Batman Forever, The Indian Jed series, and Hall of Mirrors have far outgrossed mine. Hell, Even I was approached about Pearl Harbor. He wanted to make a deal with me to get the grosses up. Guess I shoulda listened to him. Well I'm not letting your boss screw with me anymore evil marc linn! I AM GOING TO MAKE my Moon MIG movie. And I have since come up with a few plot points that I know will help me!

1. Sean Connery will now play Angelina Jolie's father.
2. Ben Affleck will be secretly dating Angelina Jolie, and when his boss, Connery, finds out, all hell breaks loose.
3. In order to stop this moon beast (replaced by a MIG as I have said previously) Connery and Affleck must work together, to travel to the moon and place a nuclear bomb on the moon, thus destroying the Moon MIG. They run into a problem though, when the detonator will not work... and someone must stay behind to detonate the weapon. A HA! Who will it be?

Watch how many people come to your gay ass movie about your pet wolf getting it on with your ex girlfriend in your dumbass garage!

Jerry Bruckheimer
AKA. Box Office Gold
C.C. from REwind Online Reply To This Message
.. Posted 10-22-2001 20:51
*shaking head*

If this thread isn't a sure sign of the Appocolypse (sp?) I truly don't know what is.

Ok, I'm off to do some filming. I HIGHLY reccomend that others involved in this thread do the same!! hint....hint.......
MOON BEAST [guest] from REwind Online Reply To This Message
I AM ONE Posted 10-22-2001 21:05
I am he

The ever powerful MOON BEAST

Beware those who betray my name

I am from the moon

I was once a young MOON BEAST as a child

I now am big

I have a wife

Her name is MRS. MOON BEAST

She will not be in the movie

I am transmitting this via Telstar

You will stop this immediately

If you do not, I will envelope the Earth in a thick cloud of brown vapour

I have spoken


MOON BEAST
P.O. Box 01000
Mare Tranquilitatus
Moon
Johnny Cash [guest] from REwind Online Reply To This Message
Hello..... Posted 10-22-2001 21:09
I'm Johnny Cash

I heard that Beast a comin'
It's comin' round the bend
I ain't seen the moonshine since
I don't know when
And I shot a man in Skylab
Just to watch him die
Threw him out the airlock
He hit his head and died.

Thank you

Johnny Cash
-from the hit lp "Johnny Cash - Songs for a Moonshootin' Hick to Sing"
Danny Elfman [guest] from REwind Online Reply To This Message
Composer? Posted 10-22-2001 21:12
I'd like to put my name in as the composer on here. I've done quite a few movies. If you listen closely, I do most of the themes that sound like a circus organ. Please consider me.

Resume attached.
lcstark from REwind Online Mail To The Creator Reply To This Message
Moon Beast - Candid shot with owner. Posted 10-22-2001 21:12
Mrs. Moon Beast [guest] from REwind Online Reply To This Message
here he goes again Posted 10-22-2001 21:13
Don't listen to my ex-husband. We divorced months ago, and he refuses to let me go. He thinks he's going to take out his anger on Earth, but fear not, he has no real powers. (if you know what I mean) I couldn't deal with going to bed unsatisfied, so I left him. I'm currently staying in Boca Raton, so if anyone there is reading this, and looking for a nice Moon Beast for some good lovin, give me a ring! Here's my pic:

Ms. Moon Beast
Scruffles [guest] from REwind Online Reply To This Message
I'll scratch your eyes out!!! Posted 10-22-2001 21:15
I'm Scruffles The Overweight Tabby. You may have seen me before. In fact, I'm in that picture above.

I'd first like to say that I'm not a director or a writer, but I can act. However, I do not like to be called a "Moon Beast." If anybody is a "Moon Beast," it's that bratty kid Samantha that's holding me.

I'm not that fat either. It's a imaging trick. I'm convinced.
Dark Bros. [guest] from REwind Online Reply To This Message
Jet Li Secret Prison Movie Exposed!! Posted 10-22-2001 21:19
News Flash - San Fernando Valley, Ca.

Jet Li, famous action star, was recently spotted in a cameo role in the movie "That's Not My Soap...OW!" A screenshot from the male porn flick is above.

"He was good," said Peter Dangling, notorious porn stud. Hopefully he'll do more.

Already Li's agent insists he didn't participate, although nothing has been confirmed as to Mr. Li's whereabouts.