Modus Operandi:
Speaking bluntly about things I know to be true which you simply don't
want to admit, you sissy.
Age: Aaliyah
said "age ain't nuthin' but a number," z-snap and I'm out,
bitch.
Favorite Pop Star:
Madonna, because even at over forty years old she looks better than your
girlfriend, snooch.
Things Most Feared:
New material from the Rolling Stones or The Who. The hold Britney Spears
has over my nether-regions. The career of Ashley Judd. Marshmallow
peeps. The AOL-Time/Warner merger. Angry blonde rappers.
Favorite Song Ever:
"Surrender" by Cheap Trick… I guess. Ask me next week and
it'll be different.
Favorite Groups:
Pearl Jam, REM, U2
Favorite Biblical
Passage: All those badass sinners getting turned to pillars of
salt for fucking, lying and stealing when the big "G" said not
to. Dumbasses. Of course, had I been there, my sodium content would have
been quite rich.
The World Would Be A
Better Place If…: These questions would stop coming at me like
locusts. I hate locusts. We have grasshoppers and crickets, so why the
fuck do we need locusts? Do we really need enhanced versions of
grasshoppers that can fly? Sometimes new and improved doesn't mean
better. Just look at Pepsi Clear. I mean, can't you people see that
locust bodies are just too fat? Anything measuring over three inches
with an exoskeleton shouldn't be allowed to cruise through the air
unabated. It's just bad karma on Mother Nature's part.
If you could
tongue-kiss any girl in the world right now, who would it be? Kari
Wuhrer because she'd probably let me cop a feel too.
Favorite Movie
Quote: To love one movie quote over another would be just too
selfish.
Favorite Wrestler:
Kurt Angle.
Favorite Television
Show (current): "Farscape"
Favorite Television
Show (cancelled): "Star Trek: The Next Generation"
Favorite David Bowie
Movie: Into the Night
He was only a
supporting actor in that one, wasn't he? Yes, but you didn't specify
"favorite David Bowie lead performance."
Ming? Is that Asian?
It is.
Are you Asian?
No
Then that's
misleading, no? In Flash Gordon, Max Von Sydow proved all you
need to do is throw on a little too much eye-liner to pass as Asian.
Then your name is
Ming because you wear eyeliner? I hate you.
Favorite Beer:
Tsingtao.
So you are Asian?
Ugh.
Favorite Cartoon:
"The Real Ghostbusters"
It's not Hello
Kitty? You're a real piece of shit, y'know that?
So you hate
yourself? Huh? What are you talking about?
Are you not writing
these questions yourself? Sshhhh, they're not supposed to know that!
Oh, right… trying
to posture yourself as cooler than the spineless
worm you really are? Alright, dammit… alright!!! I'm Asian.
You are not. Doesn't
your picture prove that you are of Anglo-European descent? You
pushed the issue, not me.
Face it… it is you
who is a piece of shit.: Fine, but I'm really good at spotting jump
cuts in movies.
