Entertainment
created by and for the no-budget filmmaking
community. We all work our asses off making movies not enough people watch.
FASTFORWARD is a chance for us to talk to other people just as messed-up as we are, relax and laugh about it. Send
submissions/comments/complaints to
here we are now. entertain us.
It's the (un)official Camp Fastforward 2003 Website by Jonason Ho!
Can I get a big "uh-oh?" From June 20th to June 22nd, Camp Fastforward 2003 was held in the lounge at Troy East apartments, USC, Los Angeles (although, as fits Camp Fastforward tradition, no one was there on the 20th). Mike Stoklasa, John Brug "Bruggy Brug Bruggo" Man, Warren Blyth, Jonason Ho, Jason Gutierrez, and Garrett Gilchrist (about 80% of the forum regulars) were in town for the quote unquote "hilarity," which also involved recording some voices for Mike's film "Oranges: Revenge of the Eggplant" (involving actors Katherine Hoagland and Riley O'Malley). But mostly, everyone spent a long saturday night talking, eating pizza, drinking, and ... oh yeah, watching some movies, including "Karate Pate 0," "For Science" and "Quit." Was it worth the drive/plane ticket? You bet your sweet bippy, and Jonason Ho's got the website to prove it. Behold, the insane glory that is the Camp Fastforward 2003 website. This page entertains me to no end, probably because I'm an idiot. Also, click on these links for more pictures: Big Pictures (suitable for wallpaper) ... Little Pictures ... rumor has it there is more coming to this page. Which would be good, as I need more of this just like your mom needs more crack. Yeah, I'm talking to you. You heard me.
New Article: Never Let Warren Blyth Shoot Your Wedding Video
Okay, that's not technically the title of the article, but you've got to admit, it's good advice. In Making Money
as an Amateur Video Artist - Volume 1 : The Prestigious Wedding Video, our own Warren Blyth (of Oregon's Bravado/Funeral Home Entertainment) discusses the circumstances on which he wound up shooting a wedding video for 50 bucks ... and how, after a year of sitting on the footage not doing anything with it, the bride and groom are about to get what they paid for. Shooting wedding videos is often noted as a way for the low-end videographer to make some money. But when you're only making 50 bucks off the deal, or even making 500, maybe it isn't all it's cracked up to be. From creepy little ring-bearer kids glaring at you, to the rear ends of 80 year old women, to the groom looking nervous as hell, it's all there in all its uncomfortable glory .... in Warren Blyth's Making Money
as an Amateur Video Artist - Volume 1 : The Prestigious Wedding Video.
It's Monkey Make Movie: Episode Five!
It's going to be a little different today at the Monkey Make Movie headquarters. Because Jay Bauman has something to say. It's Monkey Make Movie: Episode Five, and the less I say to spoil it the better. This is the fifth installment in Blanc Screen Cinema's ridiculously popular instructional video series on how to make a movie when you're a monkey. Stand up with me now, stand up and click on that bright yellow link over there ... stand up and watch Monkey Make Movie: Episode Five. (Realplayer, 7MB, 3 minutes long)
Comic Special: James and His Toy Robot: Selling Lemonade!
The fight for the future continues in this insane, epic, 14-page comic special by Kitano Sans - one of the many alter egos of Oregon's Jonason Ho. Yes, James and His Toy Robot are back, and this time they're taking no prisoners. In James and His Toy Robot: Selling Lemonade, many things will happen. The virtuous will be rewarded, the bad ones punished. Some will lay down their lives. Can your heart stand the shocking facts of the true story that is James and His Toy Robot: Selling Lemonade? Click and read, my friends, click and read. You really have no choice.
Fastforward Favorites: Music For the Mind Ballet!
Music for the Mind Ballet(25.4 MB, 16min, Realplayer) ... An Orange Cow short from 2001, this has never been available on the web before. I was bored, so I've put it up. It should alleviate YOUR boredom too. The dialogue-less short stars Jamie "Reoke" Odum as Genny, a college student who becomes so overwhelmed with stress that she splits into two personalities ... and has to live with herself. It features some nice trick photography and splitscreen work, and was a definite inspiration for later Orange Cow dramatic work like "Stripped Away" and "Gods of Los Angeles." Enjoy ...
Music for the Mind Ballet(25.4 MB, 16min, Realplayer)
It's Monkey Make Movie Episode 4: Screenwriting!
Jay Bauman is back. Bingo is back. It's a new installment in the ongoing saga of Monkey Make Movie, Blanc Screen Cinema's instructional series about the proper way to make them thar films. Coming all the way from Milwaukee, Wisconsin, Monkey Make Movie is our most popular series here at FF ... actually it's so popular that by now I would like to say its popularity has gotten out of hand. Anyway, to reinforce this popularity and prove that he's let popularity go to his head and lost his touch, Jay Bauman writes: [This is] probably not the finest installment, but pretty funny nonetheless." Agreed on both points, Jay! So, in episode 4, Bauman and Bingo teach you how to write a screenplay, with examples from one of the greatest screenplays ever written. We will also hear Bingo's views on Kenny Loggins (she's for him). Click or die! Monkey Make Movie Episode 4: Screenwriting! (Realplayer, 5.5 minutes, 13.7 MB)
New Gods of Los Angeles Trailer! Gods of Los Angeles: Second Trailer (11.8 MB, 4min, Realplayer) This was posted in the forum ages ago, and I've got some space to fill here so I might as well put it here too. I'm very proud of this one. Regular visitors of this site know that I've been working on this movie for almost two years now. At the moment I am editing it every single day hoping to finally get it done for a 2003 release. Over 43 hours of footage was shot - it's rather a large film. This is the new trailer, which I like quite a bit better than the old trailer. Anyway: David Ashe, Cori Haisler, Katherine Hoagland, David Maddox and Mariana McConnell star in Garrett Gilchrist's expansive (and long-in-production) feature drama about the meaning of love. I hope you like it. The music in the trailer is by Brian Mark, who also did the music for our short film "The Journey of Truesong" (watchable here). Gods of Los Angeles: Second Trailer (11.8 MB, 4min, Realplayer)
Great Threads in Fastforward Forum History!
Hi. Peter Jackson here. Not many know this, but Fastforward has a "Great Threads" directory where since this site debuted two years ago I've been saving threads from our forums that seemed worth saving. This used to be just lame unfunny fights from other sites. But this week we've got a great bunch of stuff from the REAL Fastforward Forum .... Full of bad jokes, forum posters masquerading as famous people, and Photoshop fun. We'll be having even more of this later. Still, for now, dig these classics:
"Where is David Ashe?" (Cate Blanchett wants him and Miranda Otto has the One Ring) Starring David Ashe as Cate Blanchett, George Lucas and the Fake Miranda Otto, Garrett Gilchrist as everyone else, and Warren Blyth as the Orcs. "Lara Croft conducts the London Symphony Orchestra" Photoshop craziness by Garrett as video game characters go into singing. And singers save the world.
"Stupid Catwoman of the day" Wanker Garrett discusses Dead or Alive volleyball and Dave Ashe discusses Vampire Batman. "Radio Man Live" The incredibly true story of Radio Man's first live performance.
"Radio Man Kicked Offstage" Radio Man's unsuccessful second performance. And don't forget to visit the Fastforward Forum ... the forum so hip it can't see below its waist. Christ, I'm fat.
It's 
Comic Special: 
Fastforward Favorites: 
Great Threads in Fastforward Forum History!