previous issues:

Issue 9, Nov. 2002:
"We're Back! We're Bad!"


Issue 11, Dec. 2002:
"It's a Disturbingly Merry FF Christmas!" With Sergio and Jesse Sorgatz.


Issue 12, Jan. 2003:
Radio Man vs. Mega Man, Interviews, and The Two Towers


Issue 13, Feb. 2003:
Lisa Renley and Alan Winston Interviews, Films by Jason Gutierrez, Radio Man Live!, Squiffy Cartoons, and Donald Washington


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Entertainment created by and for the no-budget filmmaking community. We all work our asses off making movies not enough people watch. FASTFORWARD is a chance for us to talk to other people just as messed-up as we are, relax and laugh about it. Send submissions/comments/complaints to

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here we are now. entertain us.


Blanc Screen Presents: Monkey Make Movie - Episode 2!
Over the past four months, there have been a couple of video pieces shot specifically for this website. But we all secretly know that the only one worth a damn is Jay Bauman's Monkey Make Movie. Well, here we are at last with a second installment of the popular instructional series in which Jay and his lovely assistant Bingo tell you all you need to know about the art of amateur filmmaking. In Monkey Make Movie Episode 2: Auditioning Actors (Realplayer, 4,5 minutes, 12 megs), Jay explains proper procedure for finding the right people to be in your films. Meanwhile, Bingo talks about her moviemaking plans. The special guest this episode is someone I don't recognize, but hope to see more of in the future. This person alone makes this one a must see. If you see only one thing on this site today, see make this one yours: Monkey Make Movie Episode 2: Auditioning Actors.



New Donald Washington Article: How to Be Creative!
Two articles from Donald Washington in as many weekends! The man is prolific, I must say. He wrote me tonight thanking all of you here at FF for complimenting his first article. He was worried about it, and your strong positive reaction has encouraged him. So here he comes with a new article, How to Be Creative. Mr. Washington is a former government worker and military officer, the father of two, and has unofficially lectured at schools about the state of law enforcement in the public sector today.



Blanc Screen Presents: Monkey Make Movie - Episode 3!
ANOTHER Monkey Make Movie in as many days! It's like Christmas every day here at FFrevolution.com. Well, your present from Uncle Jay Bauman today is Monkey Make Movie Episode 3, a very different and "special" episode (in the way retarded people are "special") where Jay hits the streets of Milwaukee to find out the effect amateur movies have had on people's lives. The results will shock and amaze you. Well, no, actually they won't. This episode says it all about amateur movies, why we work so hard to make the movies we do. Or rather ... why do we work so hard to make the movies we do? Um. Yeah. Jay considers this a favorite ep, he had a lot of fun shooting it and it shows. And here it is -- Monkey Make Movie Episode 3 (9.82 MB, 4 minutes long, Realplayer). Merry Christmas! Wait, it isn't Christmas. What the plog?



New Article by Roscoe Gortsky!
New article! Our staff writer Roscoe Gortsky has been keeping us updated on breaking news behind the scenes for some time now. But since Roscoe is a graduate of the journalism program at Florida State University, he doesn't follow underground film news, he follows regular news, mainly about the war in Iraq. Roscoe thinks that FF should carry real news about what's going on in the world, and today I'm humoring him. Here we are then, a news article about the war in Iraq, by Roscoe Gortsky.



Sneak Peek: Ghostbusted 2!
This has been floating around the forums for a while, so I might as well post it here at the front page if you haven't seen it. A very early and unfinished rough cut of Orange Cow's "Ghostbusted 2" has been released. This has no music, no titles, no sound effects, and I intend to put the scenes in a different order. But here it is, in three parts: Part One (16 mb, 10 min) Part Two (22.3 mb, 12 min) Part Three (29.8 mb, 18 min) Ghostbusted 2, like its predecessor Ghostbusted, is a collection of random footage shot at the Camp Rewind festival in South Dakota. It's an improvised comedy film shot documentary style, as I follow around various funny filmmaking people, and they attempt half-assedly to entertain you without knowing what the hell they should do. The movie is not about anything in particular, but contains vague references to ghosts. For pictures from the film, click here.



Fastforward Premiere: Talking to People About Star Wars!
In another big Orange Cow premiere this week, we're pleased to be able to present a new documentary, Talking to People About Star Wars. (36 MB, 25 min, Realplayer) Shot in 2002 during the Gorilla Interrupted, Gods of Los Angeles and Ghostbusted 2 shoots. I simply relaxed and asked all your favorite amateur actors about Star Wars. They had all been big Star Wars fans as kids, and most of them would no longer call themselves such. Sure The Phantom Menace was a bad film, but could a movie possibly cause so much pain as to ruin a childhood dream? This one raises more questions than it answers and has some funny bits in it. Enjoy. I certainly do. Directed by Garrett Gilchrist and starring Rich Evans, Lisa Renley, Jesse Sorgatz, David Ashe, Mike Stoklasa, Jay Bauman, John Brug "Bruggy Brug Bruggo" Man, Cori Haisler, Harry Pottash. Talking to People About Star Wars (36 MB, 25 min, Realplayer)



Another Roscoe Gortsky Article: It's Rally Time!
New Article! Our staff news writer Roscoe Gortsky reported earlier this week on the war in Iraq. But here he comes with news from the home front. Roscoe is our most serious news reporter, rarely reporting on anything smaller than a full scale war, so if I tell you he's reporting about the effects of a store brand soft drink, you better believe that soft drink is having some large-scale effects! But don't take my word for it - check out this news bulletin: It's Rally Time! by Roscoe Gortsky.

UPDATE 3-25-03: Roscoe has reported in again with new breaking news on the Rally Cola situation. More on this story as it develops.



Transcend Entertainment Presents: Somnium!
Here is the last of Jason Gutierrez's recent short films, and the strangest. Somnium (24 MB, 6 min, Realplayer) stars occasional stoner filmmaker Sean Porres as a man haunted by visions, and by one ugly-ass love interest. Sean didn't do much actual acting, and as shooting progressed, Jason himself lost all interest in this project. Unsatisfied, he edited it together anyway, with slick and strange special effects all over the place. The result is a fun watch, and an absolutely meaningless little movie. As Jason himself puts it, "This film should not be taken seriously. I am aware of the fact that it is all style and no substance." Jason has been accused of this in the past, but this time the legends are true. The Felix car dealership sign, located near USC, plays an important role, and that in itself makes this worth watching. Enjoy it as it is .... Somnium (24 MB, 6 min, Realplayer). And check out screen grabs at Jason's website.



Fun With Random Stimulus Productions!
Let's give a big FF hello to Random Stimulus Productions! Jeph and Ocean hail from the Greater Baltimore/Washington Metropolitan Area, and as a newer group have been making short comedy sketches since 2000. They are currently working on their first feature "Beer Club," the link to the trailer of which doesn't work. You can watch their videos in various formats online. My pick of the day would be Fun With Seafood (Quicktime), in which Jeph and Ocean befriend a dying lobster, with heartwarming results. There's also the matter of Landlocked, which has one of the most disgusting openings I think I have ever seen. Not for the faint of heart, mind or stomach. You can watch all their videos by going over these two pages - Videos and More Videos.



Our New Server Looks Like a Face!
Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, FFrevolution.com now works. Works, works, works, works, works. In the five months since our domain name was launched, you've had to put up with this website only being there for your entertainment 50% of the time. When you tried to load it, it didn't load. I feel your pain, because it is my pain too. Anyway, here we are now, once again, on a brand shining new server. Will this one work better? Yes. Will it work a LOT better? Well, Laurie's dumped a lot of money into it, so it might as well work, dammit. Here's to a successful server upgrade, and to a wonderful 2003! If you haven't been watching or reading our stuff due to the crappiness of the server, you've got some catching up to do! Check out four months of back issues in the bar at left. You won't regret it. Thanks for all your support over the past months, guys. It means a lot.





Obscure Video Pick of the Month: The Young Ones (1982-1984)
Punk-rock fanatic Vyvyan Basterd just fell off a train and got himself decapitated. Confused and angry, his headless body walks down the train tracks looking for his head. Neil's trying to kill himself again. Michael finally got a girl to dig him, but she's Cinderella, and at midnight she turned into a pumpkin, and Michael accidentally carved her up into a jack o'lantern. And everybody still hates Rick. The apartment is so filthy that the food has learned to ice skate. Buddy Holly has just turned up alive and upside-down in the guest bedroom. Some party guests have been crushed by a giant sandwich. The four horsemen of the apocalypse have just arrived. And let's not forget our musical guests: Madness and Motorhead are due to perform. Oh, god help us all, it could only be The Young Ones. The twelve episodes of this completely fucking insane series ran on the BBC in the early 1980s, riding a wave of punk, metal and general rudeness. The series was an enormous hit and played on MTV in the states. But the main reason to watch it is that it's so incomprehensibly strange. It could be said that the series breaks all the rules, but in truth it has none ... literally anything can happen, incorporating puppets, costumes, musical guests and bizarre flights of fancy. In one episode, all the four main actors suddenly, for one scene, all switch roles! The show never finds a plot or stays on one train of thought for very long. It's funny as hell once you understand it, but it does take some getting used to. What holds it together are the four terrific main characters. Rik Mayall as the incredibly annoying snot-nosed "people's poet" Rick. Nigel Planer as Neil, the much-abused suicidal hippie. Christopher Ryan as Michael, who wants the entire world to know he's the cool guy of the group, despite the minimal evidence to prove it. And of course Adrian Edmondson as Vyvyan, the slightly sub-human, seemingly indestructible psychopath who is the essence of punk rock. Breaking through walls and setting Rick's bed on fire. Chopping his fingers off. Eating the television rather than pay the license bill. The Young Ones is the antidote for the conventional sitcom. There has genuinely never been anything even remotely like it before or since. It's quite sad that no one ever tried to rip this series off in America. Sure, they would completely fail to capture the sheer insanity of the show, but if they even captured the tiniest bit of it, the American sitcom would never be the same. Yes, it's that sort of show. The sort of show so damnably original it actually gives you a headache. And makes you amazed that such genuine genius ever made it to broadcast television. And was a hit. The Young Ones ran 12 episodes, and there will be no more - the series ended quite emphatically when, in the last episode, the entire cast, riding in a bus, fell off a cliff and exploded in a hail of flames. Now that's the way to end a series.




Mad Link of the Moment: Sinfest.net

Tatsuya Ishida's SINFEST is a comic strip, and it is published online. But I can't call it an online comic. Online comics are hacked together in photoshop with repeated art, and would never stand up to printing in a real newspaper. More importantly, online comic strips tend not to be funny. Forget all that. Sinfest is a COMIC STRIP the right way. Full of blasphemy, ghetto slang, and heart, the series follows Slick, a diminuitive poseur, and his unrequited relationship with It-Girl tramp Monique. The supporting cast include angels, the devil and God. Truly professional and very entertaining in a hip, turn-your-brain-off way, the strip has great art and better writing ... it is that rare strip that rewards the frequent reader, since the interactions between its characters mean more the more time you spend with them. In fact, one quickly realizes that the only reason this strip couldn't be published in a newspaper today is that it's actually funny, and genuinely good. Comic strips today stink on wheels, and the fact that Sinfest has been turned down by eleven syndicates to date shows why. It's straight up quality shiznit, yo.





All text by Garrett Gilchrist. Site designed by Warren Blyth and maintained by Garrett Gilchrist. All pictures stolen from their respective owners. Orange Cow Productions, 2001.