see all the banners here FASTFORWARD is a humor site created by the amateur filmmakers at PythoNET for the amateur moviemaking community. We all work our asses off making movies not enough people watch. FASTFORWARD is just a chance for us to laugh at ourselves. Send submissions/comments/complaints to Garrett Gilchrist. Inspired by an idea by Mike Stoklasa. FastForward: News That Makes You Go "Whaaaaat?" 
CAMP FASTFORWARD SPECIAL PART ONE!   
"They'll be sick of me before this week is up ..." "I was somewhere around Denver, on the edge of one big nothing, when the Festival began to take hold. I remember missing the first flight from L.A. for some reason, and leaving an insane, high-pitched, sputtering message on a distant South Dakota answering machine. They would think me crazy, if they hadn't before. Had I made it through the flight intact? My lovely, sultry Mexic-Irish girlfriend had been paging the airport every few minutes, but even if they got the message, I had spoiled the driving day and left myself open to enemy fire. And then, as I walked out of the airport terminal, I saw them. Detective John Sloane and the First Victim. I had never met them, but recognized them immediately, as if I'd seen them before in a dream. I wasn't sure what to do. I tried to avert my eyes to prevent staring. The experience became surreal, and would blur into a hail of madness I would not recover from for weeks afterward. Were they as I had expected? Strangely, yes. They were nice people, very nice, and quick with a joke. She was lovelier in person and I was shocked but somehow relieved to see in Detective Sloane the same dark, creepy, brooding intensity I'd seen in his work, tinged with a sense of humor ... would the murders continue? Or was it simply a film festival? It was a dark and stormy night. Somewhere, a cow mooed. Lightning crackled all around us with an intensity I had never seen. They would drive me at 100 miles an hour through the longest stretches of nothing I had ever seen. If I could survive, this would be the time of my young filmmaking life ..." (from a recent mystery novel by The Tiger) Judging from reports, our Tiger had his strangest journey yet this July 8th to 15th. We are not sure what to make of the Tiger's story, and what to believe - did he really meet dozens of strange creatures much like himself? And out in Middle of Nowhere, South Dakota no less? What was this strange thing the Tiger calls "Camp Fastforward?" What is this talk of "Mooshoo's head on Mount Rushmore" and some sort of "bitchin' party"? What of "Transients" and "Killer Bags" and "144 Bravacado inside jokes?" What about "Dragon's Lair" and "Naked Wally" and cries of "Whaaaaat?" and "That darn Marc!"? And can SOMEONE, ANYONE, tell us what the hell is the deal with this Ghostbusters thing? Even Jason "White Hype" Santo doesn't appear to know, and he's the star, for chrissake. We here at Fastforward are confused, but that's never stopped us before. So here comes the First Annual Camp Fastforward Special, Part One.
Technical Notice (an apology)Just for the curious, we had a small service interuption the last few months at FastForward HQ, meaning that we got on with our lives and spent time with our girlfriend and looked at sunsets and dolphin fins in the misty distance at beautiful sun-dappled California beaches, and overall found better things to do than update this stupid site. Thus the lack of updates. But since you asked for another issue, all is back to normal and I have no life apart from the computer again. Sorry for the inconvenience! (Damn you ... damn you all to hell ...)
CONTINUE ON TO PART TWO!
|
ISSUE 1
Filmmakers Descend into Madness
ISSUE 2
Director/Webmaster Just Sitting on His Ass
ISSUE 3
How Are You Gentlemen !!
ISSUE 4
Smackdown Special
ISSUE 5
Ridley Scott Special
ISSUE 6
Acting Issue
ISSUE 7
Actors Demand to Know, "Whassup?"
ISSUE 8
Camp FastForward Special!
FastForward Radio
Episode 1
"I am on the radio"
Episode 2
"I am alone"
Episode 3
"The 15 Minute Interview"
(skip this one if you're not a REwinder)
Episode 4
"What the world needs now"
Episode 5
"Where the hell am I?"
Episode 6
"Don't do that in my room!"
Episode 7
"The Controversial Episode"
Episode 8
"The Arts and Crafts Show"
Episode 9
"I'm Confused and I Don't Smell Good"
Episode 10
"I am a Musical Genius"
Episode 11
Half-hour special! "Magical Mystical Adventure Through Time!"
Well, apparently
something happened
in South Dakota.
GMP and Orange Cow
didn't win anything
though, so who cares?
Excaliburger trailer
Well, Jason Santo lost
his battery, and Jay
Bauman lost his hat ...
Oh, you mean written
stuff.
Skeletor Needs Chicken To Survive
Respect Rick Moranis
Stubble Judge: the album
speak your addled mind!
With apologies to Jon Ashby, Wally Fong, Infiniti Productions, REwind video magazine, Rewindvideo.com, Chad Costen and the REwind kid, Random Foo Pictures, Hoopty Studios, Timberwolf Entertainment, and any other amateur groups mentioned/parodied here. We love you all, and I'm a sellout. This site created by Garrett Gilchrist and Orange Cow Productions, 2001.
