JG: I learned to make movies sitting on my father’s lap. You can say that I’ve been brought up to become a filmmaker. I think filmmaking appeals to me because I love to entertain people. I used to put on puppet shows in my parent’s basement to entertain my friends. I was known on my block as “Zantini the Great Entertainer.” As I walk down the street. The neighborhood children would shout, “Here he comes! The great Zantini! Here he comes!”

My one-man act was town famous. My neighbors would hire me to perform at their birthday parties. I made some great friends working the neighborhood entertainment circle: Nikki the town stripper, Walter the singing-clown, Diana the mortician… Ah, memories. It seems so far away yet it all happened last summer.

What did you wish to achieve with the “Fast Forward Pan-Continental Digital, Analog, and other Formats of Moving-Image Medium Festival?”

GG: I only wanted to become a filmmaker in high school. On a “career development” class, I was supposed to do research regarding my career aptitude. After investigating various fields, I thought, “hey I really enjoyed that movie “Die Hard: With a Vengeance” and I bet it would be cool to work on that movie!” So I made it my career goal: making “Die Hard 4” or bust!

After enrolling in the film school, I realized that there are more to movies than “Die Hard.” I immersed myself in the world of experimental cinema. I realized that only films that look towards the future have a real purpose. Only the futurist films have a chance to provide the ultimate answer to mankind’s problem. That’s the reason why I formed the “Fast Forward Revolution” - a futurist cinema collective.

FF filmmakers want to examine the humanity’s next step. We try to predict tomorrow’s culture, taste and human behavior. I want this festival to serve as a checkpoint. I want this festival to let the futurist filmmakers to look back and reflect on their projects. I know it’s ironic for a futurist filmmaker to look at the past. But sometime, we need to step back and reorganized ourselves.

JG: Some say that visiting ffrevolution.com is like watching retarded Seasame Street with random vampire shit. What’s your opinion on that?

GG: Ha ha ha, I laugh at the face of these imbeciles. Their observation is correct. But they shall learn to embrace absurdity as their friend. Silliness is just as important as seriousness. You can't have one without the other.

JG: One of your more vocal critics has been calling this festival a “gay slumber party without sex.” What’s your opinion on that?

GG: That fucking faggot critic will be surprised about how much pussy we’re getting! LA is full of them fine bitches that want to get it on with amateur filmmakers! Amateur directors like us can have sex with whatever chicks whenever we want!

JG: Um… I don’t think that’s true.

GG: Ok, maybe the chicks don’t want to have casual sex with us, but they’re sure lined-up to have long-term romantic relationship with us. Because they know, amateur filmmakers are the stablest, the most selfless, intelligent, responsible men there are!

JG: I’m afraid that isn’t true either.

GG: Ok, maybe they don’t want to fuck us or date us. But people respect us. When we walk down the street, people will say hi to us and shake our hands ok that isn’t true either.

However, people at least regard us as human beings ok I’m lying again. THIS WHOLE PLACE IS FUCKED! THIS MOVIE LAND DOESN’T GIVE A SHIT ABOUT MOVIES. THE STREETS SMELL LIKE URINE AND GARBAGE. IT’S FILL WITH PEOPLE WHO ARE SO UGLY INSIDE IT’S HARD TO LOOK AT THEIR FACE AND NOT VOMIT!

JG: So…

GG: I HAVE A FACE!

JG: Easy.

GG: I HAVE A FUCKING FACE!

JG: Easy now.

GG: I’M A FACE!

JG: Stay with me now.

GG: I’M A FUCK FACE!

JG: Calm down sir! Just calm down!

GG: Face… face…

JG: So… has living in central LA changed you filmmaking style?

GG: I’m not particularly into the gang culture. I used to be very into rap music. However, since Eazy-E left the dog pound, it hasn’t been the same, know what I’m saying?

JG: Right.

GG: Ain’t nothing beats the original NWA. I only wish they got along. But you know, a gangsta’s gotta do what a gangsta’s gotta do.

JG: Wow I didn’t know you go way back with da gangsta rhyme.

GG: Yep, yep, well you know all rap originated from da grandmaster Mary Poppins – I’ve been following her work for quite some time. Heck, technically I’ve been smoking them chronic since I was five!

JG: Yes. So, are you happy about the festival turnout?

GG: Hell I think it was great! I’ve met many great filmmakers. I will lay my life in the hands of those filmmakers any day. I will fight with them on any terrain, against any enemy, foreign or domestic. I will go to war with these filmmakers to defend this great country, this great nation from the insidious foreign interest. Ok maybe not. To be honest, I wouldn’t want to go to war with these people. Well, maybe for a friendly game of paintball.

JG: To be honest, I’m not so impressed with the festival.

GG: Why the fuck is that?

JG: A real film festival is the festival of the Gods.

Only the best of the best gets to compete. It’s no easy feat to train a real filmmaker. Real filmmakers shall be separated from their mother at birth and enroll in the state-sponsored filmmaking school. For the next twenty years, they will be trained in various filmmaking skills: photography, editing, the way of the knife, and hand-to-hand combat.

After twenty long years of training, the real journey begins. The filmmaker will head back to the society, where they shall live the life of duty, honor, conquer, domination, and endless film-competition, all for the ultimate goal – gaining an entrance to the festival of the Gods.

The festival of the gods will last one thousand and eighty-eight days - one day for each pagan lord. Everyday, films will be shown from the dusk till dawn. At dawn, the crowd decides the filmmakers’ fate. Winning the crowd. The filmmaker will win the chance to compete the next day. If he shall lose, he will be stripped of his amour, mocked by the court appointed jesters and spit on by the town drunk. Then he will be decapitated by the dull, ceremony lawnmower blade. His body will be set on fire. His concubines will be slaughtered. Their blood will cleanse the screen of the foul taste of their master’s substandard work.

Occasionally, hungry tigers and lions shall be brought on stage and the filmmakers shall face them with nothing but their bare hands and their movie.

After one thousand and eighty-eight days of trial and tribulation, one filmmaker will triumphant as the ultimate victor. All glory to his name! He will be awarded ten thousand hexaoxen, one hundred and eight chambers of the finest virgins, treasures from the land of Persia. He will be given free license to rape and pillage. He is the supreme champion of taste and the absolute authority of the moving image – until the next festival where another brave soul shall dethrone him.

If he shall die before his authority is challenged, the grandest burial will be made in his honor. His possession will be burned to the feast of heaven! His women will be buried alive beside him. Oh the great filmmaker! Oh how you’re the gift to humanity!

Hail to the pagan gods! HAIL! HAIL!

GG: So did you catch the last episode of Dawson’s Creek?

JG: What? It’s over? Fuck, I totally missed it. So did Joey choose Pacey or Dawson? No, no don’t tell me, I’m going to catch it on cable syndication.

GG: Oh, I won’t ruin it for you. I love that show. It’s what movies are all about – to serve human’s basic need of watching beautiful people having relationship problems.

JG: Absolutely. I love Dawson’s Creek.