JH: The ability to tell the truth, to be independent of the corporate agenda, to avoid the manipulation of the wealthy, to give the power to the powerless, to let the minority voice their concern -- has been the tenets of amateur cinema. The raw, gritty video look had been the symbol of the radical, to cue the viewers to open their mind to new ideas and information.

However, since the popularization of the video equipment, the video look has been exploited from all sides. From grandpa’s shaky wedding video to Hollywood wannabe making pseudo Lifetime-original movie with crappy sets, unexciting stories, and ugly actors. The video look no longer has the validity of truth and quality.

Let’s face it, the only DV projects that make any money are porn -- and they aren’t even good porn. They usually feature poorly lit, ugly actresses that appear even pudgier under the unflattering green glow of the florescent light performing degrading sex acts as if against their will.

The stronghold has fallen. How are we going to re-validate video? How are we going to hand the medium back to the people? What do we, the serious filmmaker do when amateur cinema has been reduced to a joke, an excuse to make bad porn?

MS: Aye mate, I think you’re full of shit.

JH: Why the British accent?

MS: Um… na, na mate.

JH: Are you drunk?

MS: Na mate, no, I mean, no dude.

JH: Why are you so embarrassed by your British heritage?

MS: I don’t know what you’re talking about.

JH: So what do you think?

MS: Think of what?

JH: Ah fuck it. Hey are you a pharmacist?

MS: Um... No. I work in a pharmacy but I’m not a pharmacist.

JH: Yeah, I figured you look too broke for a pharmacist.

MS: Right.

JH: I don't know. It’s just that I heard that you’re a pharmacist or something.

MS: I’m not.

JH: It would be cool if you’re, but it’s ok if you’re not.

MS: Right.

JH: Yeah, so I was saying to myself, man, ain’t no way that guy doubled-majored in pharmacy and film, that’s impossible.

MS: Right, impossible.

JH: So I thought, maybe “pharmacy” mean that you like, “make” stuff for people, like you know, “stuff.”

MS: What do you mean?

JH: Like you operated a meth lab, like a drug dealer, like Scarface or something.

MS: No I’m not a drug dealer and I’m not Cuban.

JH: So what does GMP mean? An egoless gimp?

MS: What the fuck is your problem?

JH: I'm sorry... I'm so sorry. It's just that... I... I thought that I could score some free Zyntec. You know, I thought as last I have an inside connection with a pharmacy. Anyway, tell me about your creative process.

MS: There are no formulas to what I do. I'm inspired by my dream and nightmare, which I have no control of. You can say that I'm at the whim of the great cosmos. There is no telling of what I can do or what I can accomplish. Only the galactic stars possess the true wisdom. You won't be told of their secrets. However, during twilight, look beyond the edge of Orion, you canfeel it. At that moment of discovery, you will be forever connected with the infinite.

JH: I get all my ideas when I shower.

MS: Marvelous.

JH: So, "Oranges: the Revenge of the Eggplant", man that sounds like good stuff. Normally, on such puppet-animation flicks, animators would record voices first and then shoot the movie. It reduces the amount of work they need to do. But you went the opposite way. Why was that? Why did you do it the hard way? Why did you shoot yourself in the foot?

MS: No my friend, I intended to capture the image before the voice. With this movie, I wanted to have the full imaginative freedom. I wanted to "feel" the images as they come to me. To perform a true exploration of the visual space, you can’t tie yourself down with silly voices and scripts.

JH: So why oranges? Why not eggs?

MS: Oh, oranges are much more profound than eggs, my friend. I’ve wanted to make movies with oranges ever since I was 7, after I saw the movie “The Godfather.” To me, oranges have always been the symbol of death, murder and assassination.

JH: It must have been pain in the ass to mess with all that fruit.

MS: Tell me about it. After the overwhelming success of my gangster film “The Long Walk Home” I wanted to make something that’s even bigger – another feature length movie with oranges! At first I was very proud and very eager to work on the project. But within 3 days the daunting logistic problem overwhelmed me so much, I became so depressed that I couldn’t get out of bed in the morning. My pharmacy career was almost ruined.

At that point, I got some inheritance money from this great aunt I’ve never met, who was supposed to be an obscure member of the British royal family. With this money, I tried to cheer myself up by going on a wild booze and whore binge. When the money ran out, I exiled myself to Spain, hoping to rejuvenate my creative energy on the sunny Mediterranean beach.

It didn’t work. I was lonely and penniless. I considered whoring myself to the Latin ladies until I met a charming woman named Cindy Williams Irraritute. I’ve never met anyone so intelligent and beautiful inside. We were together despite our thirty-year age difference. She was my inspiration. I followed her and joined the revolutionary army. We fought against the oppressive dictator Esperanza Rococo. I was clumsy and cowardly, but I held on - for love.

On the battle of the Estugrande alley, Cindy took a bullet for me. I held her in my arms as she drew her last breath. She spoke, "Mitchell, what are you doing here? I don't know if you're a good filmmaker, but you certainly are no warrior. Go now. Make your dream come true. Remember me, we shall meet again -- in the afterlife."

Cindy opened a new door for me. That was the day that I understood the true purpose of my life: making fruity movies. I came back to the States and immediately resumed working on Oranges 2: Revenge of the Eggplant. Whenever I feel like giving up, I think of Madam Irraritute. She might have died in the Spanish Civil War, but her spirit lives on inside me. She is my orange guiding light.

JH: Hey speaking of war, do you watch TV?

MS: No, not anymore. I used to watch all the teen soap on WB. But ever since Roswell moved on and Dawson's Creek got cancelled, there was nothing good left.

JH: Yeah, I suppose it’s good that you don’t watch TV. It’s such a waste of time you know. I only quit TV couple of month ago. I mean, after Gulf War 2 was over, there was nothing interesting on TV anymore. Man, I so miss watching the live commando shit on CSPAN. Now I have to rent shitty ICE-T direct-to-video crap for kicks. I mean war is bad and all and we shouldn't kill people for oil, but come on, we gotta kill people for television! We gotta kill people for entertainment!

MS: Um… so Roswell was a great show. I was a big fan of the novels, and I didn’t think a teen soap TV adaptation on WB would do the book justice, boy was I wrong! I was hooked within the first 5 minutes!

I kept asking myself: “Will Liz Harper get together with Max Evans? How will Max and his gang of alien buddies hide their secret? How can they protect themselves? Max, who was an alien, has reveal his secret identity to his true love Liz, what will she do? Will she tell the FBI? Is Max just psychotic? I mean, those were very important issues.

JH: Yes, very important indeed.

MS: At the end of season 1, it was revealed that Max and his alien gangs were not just simple alien peasants - they were royalties of a dying alien race! Their race was enslaved by another race of powerful aliens and their parents send them to earth to hide -- hoping one day they will return to free their people from the grip of tyranny! I mean WOW! It totally blew my mind! You just can’t ask for more from a sci-fi show!

JH: Well, you would think an alien race with technology surpass human by ten thousand years, who can travel beyond the speed of light, teleport, reconfigure their molecular structure at will and adapt human’s language, would be able to come up with a more sophisticated political system. But NO, instead they’re running this wacked-out feudal system much like the middle age Europe. What the fuck was that about? I wouldn’t call it science fiction. It was more like a romance novel with technology.

MS: Exactly!

JH: What? Um… right. Exactly. Hey I liked that that Isabel character. You know which one I’m talking about? She was like that Max character’s sister. Damn she was hot!

MS: Yeah, I loved her. I wanna jiggle her breast!

JH: Ye-ya, tru dat, tru dat. I've always thought that it would be cool if she was wearing a nurse uniform. I was thinking they could have a Halloween episode where everybody would have to dress up for a costume party. And then she would end up in a nurse uniform. Man, that would have been so awesome. I send them my script and everything, they never replied.

MS: You meant a nurse costume?

JH: What's the difference?

MS: Nurse costume is modified in such a way that no actual nurses would wear them, at least not while they're on duty.

JH: Right, nurse costume. Yeah.