everyone has about 25
at any given time.
Garrett Gets Unwarranted Crap, Again! March 22, 2004 - dts
Cyberspace, CA - FF founder and CEO Garrett McGilichristy has found himself in the public eye again this week. The public eye of some anonymous intenet stalker bloke that is! ...Who really only posted once in some back alley fforum thread. that your probabably haven't read. As far as we know, at least. soo... maybe we should say Garrett's square in the private eye again. err... in the private spotlight? ummm.
Anyway. Apparantly another uptight schmuck has found the time to bum rush the fforums with the sole intention of anonymously hurling insults in Mr. McG's general direction.
In a thread appropriately called "blow me" someone known only as "G. crime Unit EST" felt the need to unload on Mr. McG, with the shortest sappiest love sonnet this side of Sasparilla. It reads
- "
Your movies suck dick,
and your pretentious ego
should be reduced
to the size of nothing,
because
that is what it is worth. You are
a racist,
sexist, homophobic
idiot.
Congratulations! What is next?
Your award is
'The Most Annoying'.
Your films is
the will go nowhere.
And I love you."
FF co-founder and AVP Miguel Stoklasiati, did chime in with a few insights into the history of McG's colored past and many non-friends, but did not form his findings in the style of a love sonnet, and was thusly excluded from the investigation yet again. When asked for comment, MS repeatedly shouted "I am not a terrorist! I deserve a public trial!" until our frightened reporters retreated and made up their own quotes.
At this point, inside sources revealed that this anonymouse guest is also known in Tennessee and Nebraska as "Gandalf McWhitey," and has been gathering fake fans nationwide with his radical approach to poetic alliteration. It is not known where he is leading his fans (or where this story is now heading), or where McWhitey's prose will pop up next, but we here at FF are waiting with baited breath. Like fish. Like fish that haven't exactly been caught, or even know how to follow your line, but ate the bait anyway. Y'see in the world of fishing, the bait always loses. The bait is fucked. It's always caught in the middle, between predator and prawn, like parsley on a trashy IHOP t-bone steak. Like your mom, in a smelly ford pickup behind Denny's. Like the letters m&m in the phrase "vacuum masters." That is what we here at FF news center are like. Intangible smelly worms trapped in typed characters. Pretty much.
Also, please note that trusted outside sources highly suspect the anonymous forum poet in question to be none other than one of garrett's many split personalities.
Danny Trejo Senior Reporting
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