seriously.
Filmmakers Fail to Make Film, Again – March 15, 2004 : 2pm -svw
Portland, OR - Local Oregonian legends, Chris Mundane and Skippy Von Weidersheim, failed to even make the semblance of a film, again, this past week. When asked why, Skippy replied "I am so hungover right now I can't believe I even answered the phone. Wait, who is this again?"
Last weekend, after improvising the funniest shit ever uttered (for approximately half an hour) into Skippy's new DVX-100 camera, Skippy, and co-conspirator Chris, settled into a deep depression. "After we dropped the biggest bombs this side of ... i dunno, we were spent. I drove Chris cross town to watch starsky and hutch, so we could remember why we had chosen to become filmmakers in the first place." After he moment, he added "I won't be explaining that in any way, by the way. You just have to see the movie. Owen Wilson is so hot right now!"
Chris notes, "I didn't even know what the fuck Skippy was shooting. He said some guy in LA had asked him to make the video to mock some other video that neither of us had even seen. But was supposed to be really fucking funny. Skip said that this was what made it art! As well as the fact that we wouldn't be getting compensated for it in any form. Then he started screaming at me for not having any alcohol in the apartment."
"I assured Chris that my LA contact had no warrants for his arrest, so he must be on the up and up," Skippy added. "That's a big accomplishment for any L.A. area producer, you know. But then a couple days later, after I'd dropped 20 bucks to overnight the tape to this guy, he called me up to say that there was no fucking sound on the tape, and I was a dead man. I told him he was full of shit, but I'd get the money to him by friday. Then I realized the camera's microphone was improperly setup, and no sound had been recorded on anything I'd shot since I bought the damned thing. That's when I started crying, and, as you can see, I haven't yet stopped."
When asked why they continually fail to produce anything of any importance, both gents protested that they were too busy working full time on news updates for an undisclosed underground filmmaking website. "We prefer to do work that no one will ever pay us for, and no audience will ever be able to appreciate," Chris tossed in, just before FBI agents burst into his apartment and apprehended him. Skippy added "I am not clinically insane, and have never been in an instituion. ra ra ra."
Despite all their setbacks and general lack of talent, Skippy and Chris plan to continue failing to make films of any importance again this week, and for as long as possible as 2004 unfolds. Good luck, Chums!
skippy von weidersheim reporting
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