Golden Bar Productions Announces Casting Call – March 15, 2004 - cm
Chicago, IL - Brandon Fatone, director, producer, CEO of the independent film production company "Golden Bar," has announced a casting call for his latest project "Oops Your Mom Might be Jesus" -- the sequel to 2003's "Oops I Might be a Teenage Jesus."
"Oops I Might be a Teenage Jesus" followed the trials and tribulations of a lonely suburban teenager who suspects that he might be Jesus. During the climactic final battle against the Backyard Satan, he realized that he wasn't the famed Christian deity, and dies horribly.
"I wanted to explore how all of us at some point in our lives had dreamed that we might be somebody important, somebody cool." Brandon explained, "For the sequel, I wanted to explore how all of us at some point in our lives have either fantasized or believed that our parents might secretly be somebody important, somebody cool, like Superman, or Thomas Edison, or Abraham Lincoln, or Jesus Christ."
Hollywood has always been suspicious of the religiously-theme movies’ marketability, but Brandon isn’t too concerned. "This isn’t just a Jesus movie. This is much more than that. There is the mother-son relationship thing, for all the drama loving sissies; there is an awesome battle between Human and Hell Beasts, for the blood-and-gore loving retards. But ultimately, people need to learn to accept that Jesus was real and there will be films that talk about him. But you know, seriously, I really don’t care about the fucking marketability. As usual, I’ll get no money and zero feedback when this whole shit plays on the cable access anyway."
With the casting call, Brandon wishes to depart from his usual filmmaking process. Brandon also sees this as a chance to work with fresh talents. "Yeah my friend Tony moved out of town and got a job at Costco and he doesn’t feel like doing movies anymore. And my friend Mark doesn’t answer my calls anymore ever since he asked me about what I thought of his girlfriend Tina when he was thinking about breaking up with her. I gave him my honest opinion that she was a psycho bitch, and before I know it they got back together and he never called me again, so fuck that guy."
Brandon is no stranger to the casting process and offers the following tip for aspiring directors: "Always cast the right person for the part. One time I cast the wrong person for a part and guess what, it didn’t work! Because he wasn’t right for the part! In fact, he was wrong for the part. Now, if I had cast the right person, it would have been okay."
"Well oopsie-fucking-doo. He can cast my ass!" said Brandon's father Carl Fatone, "Hey I don't mean to sound like a guest on the Jenny Jones show, but what that little bastard needs is to get a job and get an education. I ain't gonna support his sorry ass forever."
Staying true to the independent filmmaking spirit, Brandon isn’t bothered by his father’s negative comment. "Hey who say filmmaking was easy? My old man has been saying that shit ever since I was twenty eight so fuck him. Right now I’m just concentrating on find the right cast, especially for the Mom part. I need a good actress. Otherwise, the project is fucked. I don’t have much to offer, but if she wants, I’m willing to have sex with her." Brandon jokes, "No seriously I'm not joking, I haven't had sex for so long my standard has fallen through the floor - make that the basement floor."
"Oops Your Mom Might be Jesus" is slated to begin principle photography this the fall.
chris mundane reporting
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