Local Filmmaker heads for Hollywood - March 11, 2004 - cm
Olympia, WA – On Monday, Jared Edison of the "Good Home Cooking" entertainment group announced to his family and friends that he is heading for Hollywood to pursue his life-long dream of becoming a movie director. "I’ve delayed my dream long enough. And now it’s the perfect time to go for it," said Jared, at his parent’s modest ranch, on a horse, wearing a skydiving helmet, and drinking whisky contained in a recycled SunnyD bottle.
Jared was once a business development manager of the now defunct internet company stuff.com. "I’m not sorry that I sold out to make money instead movies. Stuff.com was a great place to work. It was a place fully full of interesting people. We had kids with blue hair and bad perms running around with skateboards. We had programmers working all night drinking free coke and chicken blood. We had a petting zoo with exotic and extremely poisonous snakes. We had everything! Heck, we even had a pony ranch! It was the perfect place for the young creative types of the 1990's, like me."
"Yeah it was totally cool. We had 300 million dollars from our IPO and we spend it like kings, like medieval ----ing kings! Each of us had our own personal court jester, a couple of midgets for amusement, and a whole chamber full of whores. Man that was some good times," exclaimed Jared. "But you know what? For the four ball-busting years I spend at stuff.com, I never stopped thinking about moviemaking."
A recent bass-fishing accident has blinded Jared's left eye. However, Jared is still positive and regards the accident as a blessing in disguise. "You might say 'wow this guy is fucked, he’s 47, broke, employed for three years and blinded in one eye from a embarrassing fishing accident.' But hey, I’m tougher then ever before. And guess what? To survive in the movie industry, you need to be tough." Jared is currently in good spirits, and he is ready for anything.
"Heck, might as well give it a shot before the other eye goes blind too! Ha ha!"
Watch out Hollywood, here comes Jared!
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